So, I'm as big as a house. Really. For some reason I am carrying this child such that the pants that I walked into the hospital to deliver the other 3 kids in DONT FIT. Can't get much in them beyond my knee. The weird thing is that I don't weigh any more than I did at this time in the previous pregnancies. I've had to order some more maternity clothes to get me through, and this is a BIG DEAL because I'm only 4 foot 10, and even the short length pants are too long. Guess I'll have some good stuff to sell to short people on Ebay after this baby comes.
Apparently, also, I am old. I guess I just don't fit into Old Navy's target demographic any more, because all the pants I could find there are under the belly, which was fine until I hit the seven month mark, and ever since then my belly is so big it PUSHES THE PANTS DOWN. I look like a redneck plumber with a crack problem, constantly hitching them back up again. It's driving me crazy. I need the granny pants that come up under my boobs, apparently, and Old Navy just doesn't have them. This is a blow to my ego.
A couple of other things are making me feel old. Yesterday as I was driving past one of the high schools I pass to pick up Little Man from school, they apparently got out early, or broke for lunch or something, and all the kids driving out of the parking lot looked like they were 12. Seriously young. Now, I know they were at least 16 or they wouldn't have been driving, but man, were they little kids. I wouldn't have turned MY car over to them.
The other thing is that my cousin is about ready to have a baby. I am the oldest of the cousins on my mother's side of the family, and if you don't count my sister I am at least 9 years older than the rest. I babysat most of those kids. My dear cousin C is about to have a baby girl any day now - she is ten years younger than me. I remember holding her and changing her diapers. I keep thinking she's too young to have a baby, but then I remember that she is the age now when I wanted to have my kids, so she isn't really that young at all. The baby might have a problem with her kidneys, so we are praying everything goes well for her.
I've hit that stage in pregnancy where just moving is a chore, where my hips lock up while I sleep so I gimp like my 82 year old grandfather who's had a broken hip and has a form of bone cancer every time I get up to go to the bathroom, which is at least 4 times a night. It is hard to get comfortable. Getting up and down off the floor is a sight to behold (or not, really), so I try not to do it, but sometimes things have to get picked up or a particularly nasty diaper needs to be changed (we do most of them standing up). I have absolutely no energy, and need a nap every afternoon, though I rarely get one.
I'm too old for this. I'm too old for my pants. I'm too old to be a great-cousin, or second-cousin, or whatever the hell you call that generational link.
Mostly, I'm much too young to feel this damn old.