I was sitting on the couch in the process of changing Nemo's diaper, and I hear a bang and then BigDaddyFish saying to Sunny "Are you alright?" and some sort of brief discussion about her hitting her head on the wall, which I only partially payed attention to because of the diaper change, when I hear the "pfftt" and feel moisture on my face.
"OMG, Nemo, you just pooped in my face!" I said as I wiped my arm across my face. It wasn't bad, just a bit of moisture like a misty rainy day, but BDF heard and immediately told Sunny "We have to go help Mommy."
He came running and grabbed the wipes, and asked "Did he get you in the mouth?" as he kept funnelling baby wipes to me to wipe myself off. I just nodded briefly, to which he responded "Well, at least it doesn't have much bacteria in it at this point." I just nodded again as I continued to wipe, when I feel the warmth on my leg and glance down. Yup.
"Argh, he just peed on me." BDF began to laugh as I grabbed a diaper and some more wipes and tried vainly to wipe up the pee. I had a new diaper under Nemo that was now wet, some cloth diapers/spit rags wadded up along my leg, and a pile of wipes on my left knee. "What's that?" BDF asked about the blob of white Triple Paste on my right index finger that I was preparing to put on Nemo's butt due to the rash caused by my antibiotics. I told him, and in the ensuing handoff to quickly get Nemo diapered before another emission, somehow the ointment ended up on BDF's hand, at which point we just looked at each other and laughed. We finally got the boy diapered and dressed and ourselves washed up, and continued to chuckle at the carnage that it took us to change one small baby's diaper - about 20 wipes, two towels, two outfits, four spit rags/cloth diapers, and showers for both adults. And we're experienced at this.
Yesterday I had to tiptoe through Postpartum Depression Forest because BDF is sometimes an ass if he doesn't get caffeine and sometimes lack of sleep and hormones make me not respond well to his assishness, and I'm afraid the kids got to witness the whole bloody affair. This little laugh tonight was also witnessed (and participated in) by them; I hope it was as healing to them as it was to us.