It's hard to get alone time with your spouse when you have four small kids needing all manner of care running around the house trying to destroy it. You spend all day chasing them around and putting out fires, then at night you are just too exhausted to even look at each other, much less get a little action. During the crazy daytime hours, it's difficult to even find a few moments when the decibel level is low enough that you can actually discuss a strategy for managing the house, much less to tell each other how you feel. BigDaddyFish and I started about a year ago using our friend, the Locked Door, each and every time we needed it. Need to discuss who is going to drive who to school? Go behind the Locked Door. Feeling lonely because you haven't seen each other all week thanks to the long commute and a crazy activity week for the kids? Go behind the Locked Door for a little smooch. Need to give yourself a timeout before you have a stroke? Go behind the Locked Door. We've been using it for all kinds of things, not just Alone Time, if you get my meaning.
It's funny how each kid reacts differently to the Locked Door. Sometimes we don't even lock it, just close it, just to see what they'll do. Trout will stand outside it and whine (actually quite impressive since she's 9), but if ignored will go away, and usually won't try the door to see if it is actually locked. Little Man sees the door as a challenge and will immediately go try to find something to use to unlock it, but again, often without trying it first to see if it's unlocked. Sunny will try the door and then stand outside it and pound on it and try to engage us in conversation through the door. Nemo will pound on it and yell "Ma! Ma! Da Dee! Doow shut!" They all have trouble with knocking, hence the liberal use of the lock in the first place, and our usual response, no matter what we're doing behind that door, is "We're busy! Go [watch a movie/play in traffic/wait on your bed/ask your sister] away!" so that we have a few minutes to finish our conversation before facing the hordes.
Yesterday Sunny and Nemo successfully breached the closed but not locked door, and we discovered that Nemo needed a diaper change but that we didn't have any diapers. Sunny brought us a bunch from the other floor of the house without us asking, we kissed the top of her head and sent her away so she didn't have to smell her brother's toxic waste, and we shut the door. BDF changed the baby while I finished getting dressed and we both continued our conversation. Sunny decided we were taking too long after a minute or so, so she came and banged on the door. And before either BDF or I could open our mouths, Nemo yelled out "We're Bushzy!"
Good to know we're getting through to somebody.