Apparently this is explore your body and its parts week here in the Fish Pond. Actual incident:
I'm in the bathroom, washing my hands and finishing up when Little Man attempts to open the door. Thinking he is playing with me, as he usually is, I turn off the light and unlock the door so he can open it. When he opens the door, I hide behind it. He doesn't see me, so he reshuts the door, and then opens it again, and then I jump out and shout, "Boo" really loud. The kids usually love this game. This time, though, this conversation ensues:
"AAAGGGHHH! Mom! Stop that! We can't play! Trout has toothpaste in her vagina."
Blink. "Wha?"
"Come Mom, quick, Trout has toothpaste, the new toothpaste she got at the dentist, in her vagina, and she's crying." I consider the possibilities as to what this means, none of them good, and possibly necessitating a trip to the ER. ToothPASTE or toothpaste TUBE? Either way....
"What the....." I run up the stairs as fast as my pregnant belly will let me. RT is standing at the top of the stairs, stark naked, with her hand over her vaginal area, just wailing.
"It hurts, Mommy, it hurts. It BURNS! AAAAAAAA!" She shrieks. Thankfully, just the paste. Unfortunately, it is whitening with mouthwash in the formula.
Huh. Yeah. I grab the baby wipes and wipe her off the best I can, but she is shrieking about how much it hurts. I throw her into the tub, instruct her in washing herself, and make sure she gets clean. After she dries off, I apply diaper ointment to a very, very red area.
"Trout, honey, WHY did you put toothpaste in your vagina?"
"I didn't know what it would feel like." Well. I don't know, either, but I imagine about like a fire ant, or hydrochloric acid. I'm all for experimentation, but somehow didn't think I'd have to worry about this yet.
"Honey, I hope you've learned a lesson. Don't put anything there that doesn't belong there."
"Okay, Mommy, don't worry, I won't. Mom, what belongs there?"
Guess it's time to have a little talk.
I am SOOO sorry, but I am LMAO here at this one!!
Posted by: bzymom13 | February 07, 2007 at 04:41 PM