The Tooth Fairy Has Been Outed

Damn it!  I was going to post about our apple picking trip on Saturday, but that has been superceded by events, and I am so upset about it.

Trout has a friend who lives down the street from us.  She goes to play at her house, or the girl comes here, at least 3 times a week.  This girl, I will call her "Stacey," is 8 years old; Trout is six.  Usually this is not a problem.

Today, Trout and Stacey had been playing for about 1/2 hour when they come tumbling into the house.  Stacey keeps saying "Ask her, you'll see" and Trout comes up and asks me point blank "Mom, did you give me the money from the Tooth Fairy?"

Little Man and Sunny were in the room.  Looking at me expectantly.  I did what any Mom in that situation would do.

"Nope, I didn't."

Stacey immediately starts in "She's Lying!  She Just Doesn't Want You to Know, But She's Lying."

I gave her the Death Stare. 

Apparently Trout had also told Stacey that I had a movie of her with a fairy.  I'm not sure what she was talking about, and said as much.  Stacey accused Trout of lying too, and then Trout said "well, maybe I just dreamed that."

I am so sad about this.

I wanted Trout to have the magic of believing in the Tooth Fairy for more than just one tooth.  The thing is, I should have just trusted her.

Tonight, after we put the other kids to bed, I brought Trout into my room to discuss the whole thing.  I asked her what she thought.  She told me Stacey was wrong, the Tooth Fairy IS real.  This is where I started mentally smacking myself in the head, as it was clear that she was confident in her own beliefs despite this afternoon's exchange.  I asked her how Stacey knew the Tooth Fairy wasn't real, and Trout told me that Stacey saw her mom one night, and also told me that Stacey had shown her where her mom kept Stacey's teeth.

I don't know if Stacey's mom is aware Stacey knows. 

So I asked Trout again if that was the case, then what did she think?  Then she said, "Mom, did you give me the money?"

I couldn't lie to her like that again, I told her yes.  Thankfully, she wasn't mad.  She didn't even look at it as us lying to her.  BigDaddyFish and I explained that it is like playing a game to do something nice for someone, because playing pretend like that can be more fun than if we just handed her the money.  We asked her how it made her feel now that Stacey told her, and she said she felt bad.  We told her we did, too.  We talked to her about how important it is for her to play the game now, too, so that her little brother and sister get a chance to play pretend like that, too, and they won't have to feel bad like she does.  We have another friend who is Stacey's age who knows the truth about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy because of her family's religious beliefs, yet she's been playing along for years, out of respect for those who choose to do it the other way.  So I have a few questions for you Internets:

1.  Do I talk to Stacey's mom?  I don't know if she's aware that Stacey knows, and Stacey has a little brother who is just a little bit younger than Little Man.  I'd hate to see her spoil things for him, too.

2.  Do I talk to Stacey directly?  I was really, really pissed off this afternoon, not necessarily because of Trout finding out the truth, that was mostly just disappointing, but more because I thought Stacey did it in a really disrespectful and obnoxious way.  If I ever caught Trout doing that I'd be all over her about her attitude.  That's part of what leads me to believe her mother may not know, because she's not like that and I think she would have talked to her about respecting others' beliefs.  Do I mention that to her mother?

3.  How have you all handled the outing of Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, especially if you had younger children in the house?

4.  How would you have handled the situation this afternoon?

I don't know what to do.  Right now, I'm just really sad that Trout is growing up, and that she's had a little of the magic of being a kid taken from her.  Our society forces kids to grow up too fast already, and I was hoping for a little more of the little kid in her for a bit longer.

At least she still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny.  I think.  She tends to be in her own little world, and at that age I was too - my mother had to tell me about Santa and the Easter Bunny; I believed what I believed despite what anyone else told me.  The only issue I had at the time (I was 9) was that she gave me the Big Sex Talk right after telling me there is no Santa/EB, so I was so flummoxed about the Santa/EB thing I didn't pay much attention to the rest.  So I learned when not to have the Big Sex Talk.

What do I do about the rest?

Comments

[Angi]

hi :) I found your blog from the Nov. babies board, but funny that I also just dealt with this situation a few weeks ago too *(sniff)*

We were honest with our son as well, and asked him to keep it a secret from his little siblings (AND OTHER KIDS!!) so that he would hopefully never be the "Stacey" to someone else. He lost his second front tooth last night and today when a friend of mine asked what the tooth fairy left him, he told her how much & nothing else (YAY!!). I was very proud of him, as there were other kiddos all around.

I was sad too, I want him to be little again! Just wanted to let you know that you were not alone and it sounds like we handeled it all the same too :)

[Marmite Breath]

I would have had a hard time restraining myself from smacking the neighbour kid. ;)
We've had other kids tell our eldest that there's no Santa, but we talked about it afterwards and how SAD it is that those children don't get any toys.
I, too, want to keep my kids innocent for as long as possible. My daughter is almost nine and she still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but I know that when she stops believing, she'll support that beautiful lie for her brother.