Junk Mail

I was going to write about how I found out I was pregnant with Trout, as her birthday is coming up this weekend and she was quite the surprise, but that will have to wait.  I received my first junk mail for this baby today.

Similac cans.

Now, as I've said before, I don't care how you choose to feed your baby; the important thing is that the baby gets fed.  Period.  However, I am a breastfeeding advocate; I do feel that it is better for both mother and baby than formula feeding, and I also feel like society does not provide enough support to new mothers for them to be successful breastfeeders.  I do not, however, believe formula is "poison" or is going to hurt your baby - I just believe the way nature intended things to work is the superior way of doing them.

But this junk mail is a blatant example of a society that doesn't do its best to support women to breastfeed - support, not frighten or berate.  I have no problem with formula companies providing formula cans free of charge ONCE THEY HAVE BEEN REQUESTED.  But I didn't request these things; I don't want them around my house.  I will be donating them to the local food bank, who requests these things (I would rather help a poor woman breastfeed if she wants to, but I don't want to get involved with LLL and the food bank doesn't have the infrastructure set up to support this).  I don't want the temptation of a can of formula sitting on my shelf for when my in-laws come to "help" and think they should be feeding the baby for me so I can do something else ('nother rant altogether, but still).  It bothers me that things like this make my sister say "Why should I try to breastfeed, when they are going to send me this stuff anyway?  Look how easy it is!"  It bothers me that sending out these cans to women who don't request them wastes all kinds of resources that could be better spent educating women on the benefits of breastfeeding, on the mechanics of how to do it, on a bit of "cheer-leading" for those who give it a go (a very necessary part of it, in my opinion).  And this doesn't even consider what the presence of those cans of formula can do to the poor woman who loses her baby at birth, especially when it is so damn hard to get your name off that mailing list.

Way back when, there was more of a community of mothers, who supported each other in day-to-day life and helped with the educational portion of breastfeeding.  Then formula came along, and women in my grandmother's generation were taught "Only common (poor) women breastfeed their babies, because they can't afford to do what's best" and other such nonsense.  My grandmother WAS told this, and she was raised in the upper middle class - she happened to disagree and wanted to breastfeed, but wasn't given the support she needed to learn how and succeed.  That left a void for when my mother and aunt wanted to breastfeed their children in the seventies and eighties.  My mother and aunt both turned to La Leche League, but they were so militant the other way, and still provided a lot of misinformation, that both my mother and my aunt were turned off to breastfeeding.  LLL ended up shooting themselves in the foot, which is why a lot of mainstream breastfeeding supporters like myself get looked down upon as being "crazy lactivists," which only breeds resentment and doesn't help when we are trying to encourage new mothers to breastfeed.  My mother died and my aunt lives several states away, so I was on my own to learn how to breastfeed, and it didn't come naturally a lot of the time.  Fortunately, I'm stubborn as hell, so over the course of three babies I learned to do it so well the last one didn't want to stop (again, another rant for another day), but there are so many times over the years that without a good support mechanism, I would have given up.

The best thing I did for myself is both my husband and me took a breastfeeding class at the hospital before Trout was born.  We both learned mechanics of breastfeeding, and the most basic of emotional support, that of my husband, was established right there.  I encourage those around me to breastfeed and offer both my emotional support and any advice or help they may need, but it is frustrating when my efforts are thwarted by formula companies and governmental and media zealots alike from opposite sides of the fence.

Whatever happened to the middle ground?  Am I REALLY that unusual?

I don't think so.  Feel free to give a shout-out if you're here in the middle, too.

Comments

[Angi]

Just had to say I always enjoy reading your blog (it has become an ALMOST daily check-in these days) and you inspire me to give BF a really GOOD try. I've tried & had issues with all three of my kiddos that have made me give up MUCH TOO SOON (about 6 wks with each) in the past. I already plan to BF again, but this time will be more stubborn (something I usually am not, LOL) when sticking with it thanks to your insights. THANKS :)

[Izzy]

I'm totally in the middle. I breastfesd both of my kids but I also supplemented with formula once b/f was established. I always feel like I have to explain that I really needed some sleep and I wasn't able to pump very much. Formula was the best way for my husband to feed the baby so I could get more than an hour of sleep at a time. I'm one of those people that gets kind of psycho when sleep deprived so it was what worked for us. All the rest of the time, I had a baby attached to my boob and nobody died or was irreparably harmed by doing it that way.

Great post :)

[Jessie]

But at the same time, as a formula feeding mom, I did get alot of fun little ads for nursing bras, breast pumps, the like. Theyre also going to send you the diapers, and you know, not everyone uses those, some people use cloth. Its all a bunch of hot button issues and they have the market cornered on it, and theyve got you on their mailing list. I just threw stuff away, or gave it to someone who would use it, no biggie for me.