Mark My Words

My mother-in-law and I were sitting here in my kitchen, talking about the different tempraments of my kids, and we noted that in particular Sunny is able to amuse herself for quite some time.  Many times I have tried to play with Sunny and she has shooed me away because I wasn't playing the way she wanted.  At that time, Sunny was watching Little Bear and playing quietly in the front of our family room; Little Man was building a castle in the back of the family room, and Trout was upstairs changing her clothes.

Sunny walks up to the baby gate closing off our kitchen, smiling broadly and holding up her hands.  They are green and brown.  She has a streak of brown across her forehead.  She is clearly quite proud of herself.  I go over the gate and pick her up.  Not only are her hands green and brown, but her feet, top and bottom, are a beautiful multi-color collage based heavily in a dark red, about the color of bricks and red wine.  The color goes up both arms and legs, past elbows and knees; both her shirt and pants (of course, both new) are covered with many colors.  I walk over to where she was sitting; she has colored the carpet, the walls, and one of our window shades.  She has taken the top off every single marker, about 50 of them, and she has even colored the markers with the markers.  A veritable ink-fest.  Theoretically, due to previous inking incidents, all the markers are Crayola washable markers. 

Sunny has had a bath in the kitchen sink.  Her arms and legs look like she had a fight with a bear and the bear won - tracks like claw marks up and down the legs.  After a thorough scrubbing.  Her feet are still an odd dark red color.  Her knees look like she is recovering from scrapes received a week ago.

The thing is, the rule is that the only markers allowed outside of our kitchen are the Color Wonder markers that will only write on the special Color Wonder paper.  This is because we have had at least four other incidents like this where Trout has left markers, pens, scissors, or some other messy, unapproved art material out where her younger sibs, especially Sunny, can get to them and create havoc.  When called on the carpet, literally, Trout simply said "Oh, I forgot" and laughed about it.  She was last reminded of this rule a long, long time ago, like...yesterday.  She laughed.

Not a good thing to do after an incident like this, especially when your mother is pregnant.  Very pregnant.

I didn't scream.  I didn't yell.  I didn't even tell her she was going to military school.

I made her take the magic eraser to the wall and shade.  The ink didn't come off.  I stepped in - I got the ink off the shade, but not the wall.  The carpet is going to be replaced anyway, so the fact that the ink didn't come off that doesn't distress me too much.  But the whole time she was giggling and laughing "Oh, no, tee hee hee."

So what do you do with a remorseless child?  My punishment:

1. Grounded for a week from all unscheduled activities, i.e. science club is okay but playing with friends down the street is not.
2. Assist in all unpleasant housework for the duration of the weekend, like scrubbing toilets and the nasty shower.
3. Loss of all art supplies until mastery of the rule has been demonstrated.
4. Helping me soak Sunny's clothes and figure out how to get the stains out, and if they don't come out, paying to replace them.

BigDaddyFish thinks I'm being too harsh - he thinks that she should just have to clean up from this mess.  He thinks maybe she isn't capable of remembering the rule and following it.  She's seven years old.  She can learn her classroom rules just fine for school.  She has been reminded of this particular rule numerous times, as recently as yesterday.  Her younger brother has mastered this rule.  And this is at least her fourth offense in the past couple of months.  I believe a harsher penalty than she has faced previously is warranted, and without it she has little incentive to Remember.

What do you think?  Am I being Bitchy Mom?  For what it's worth, the punishment he has suggested is what I did the last 3 times this happened.  I think it's time for something more.  Do you?

Comments

[Jenny]

If it's the third time I think you might be right. It's harsh but maybe it'll help her remember better.

PS. I just read that many kids can get major chemical burns from the magic erasor (just read a horrible blog about it this morning) so you might just want to be aware.

[Kimba]

At 7 years old she is more than old enough to learn to put her art supplies away. I don't think you are being too harsh...if she doesn't learn now it will only continue and grow into other things. (As the mom of a 12 year old, I've seen it happen...they will take advantage of anything they can!)

[Summer]

Definitely taking the art supplies away and helping with the clean-up and laundry makes sense. There's a clear cause-effect there. Grounding her is perhaps a little harsh... it could possibly have been just forgetfulness, we all forget things sometimes. But then again, I didn't get to witness the lack of remorse. Failure to say "oh no, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I left that pen out" is a completely different crime than forgetting to put the pen away, so I can accept the grounding as a just punishment for that.

So you're cool. If my opinion counts, that is.

[dcrmom]

Hi! Delurking to put in my 2 cents. Honestly? I am always wary of too many different consequences. I'd rather pick one significant one, and I always try to pick something that is a "logical consequence" to the specific action. In this case, I think I would take her art supplies away for an appropriate period of time, like maybe a week. Just my thoughts...