The Fish Pond

The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is On Fire...

This morning at about 2 am I was going to bed and turned off the lights in our family room, and as I did I noticed that the switchplate was warm.  Real warm.  I asked BigDaddyFish to come down and feel it, and he agreed that it was too warm.  Being the son of a former firefighter, he wanted to change it out right away, and since my idea of a smokin' New Year did not involve actually burning down the house, I agreed.

So, that's what we did.  At 2:30 am, with Sunny as a "helper" since she'd had bad dreams and was wide awake, we took a spare switch from the basement, turned off the electricity to the switch circuit, and changed it out.  The old one was a dimmer switch, and recently we've had to replace the lightbulbs on the system and the dimmer no longer worked - we only had on and off.  We replaced it with a standard on/off switch, so no dimming, but at least I won't be posting about how we have nothing left because of our spectacular bonfire, at least, not from the switch.

Wasn't that a particularly romantic way to spend the evening (morning)?

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Last night someone broke into BigDaddyFish's and my cars and stole all our spare change and our cell phone headsets, which we leave hanging from our rear-view mirrors.  The change doesn't really bother me, as I figure anyone that desperate needs the money more than we do, but the headsets bug me, because they go over the head, rather than hang from the ears, which most headsets do, so the kind we like are hard to find anymore.  Taking them wasn't hard to do, because we leave the cars unlocked most of the time, me all the time, because the alarm on the van is faulty and goes off for no reason, and we can't figure out how to disconnect it.  In seven years this is only the second time a theft has happened, so we really are on the good side of things.  Still, it was disappointing, and I did mention it to the kids this morning, because I wanted to make sure they hadn't taken the headsets to play with, since they do that some time.

This afternoon Trout was messing with some paper and glitter glue, and she showed it to me while I was doing something else and the baby was screaming, so I wasn't paying too much attention to what it was, and she said something about saving it for tomorrow.  I asked what it was, and she said "It's for the cup."

"What cup, honey?"  She pointed to a small, blue plastic Tupperware cup on which she had recently been balancing a quarter and some forks.

"I'm gonna sell it, Mom.  I want to make some money."

"What are you going to sell?  What do you need to make money for, anyway?"

"Well, lemonade, of course!  I want to be rich."  She paused for a bit.  "Do you know why I want to be rich, Mommy?"

"No, honey, why do you want to be rich?"

"I want to be rich so I can have lots of money for you, Mommy."  I assured her I had all the money that I need, but that I appreciate her wanting to earn money for me.  I also suggested that perhaps she might get more business if she waited until springtime for her lemonade sale.  She interrupted me.

"I want to be rich for you, Mommy, you need more money - for your car."

Indeed.  Hard to explain that I am rich already, spare change not withstanding.

Compilation

I hope you all had wonderful and glorious holidays and are gearing up for a rocking New Year.  Or restful.  Or - whatever you want it to be.  Here is a bunch of stuff that happened this past week in the Fish Pond.

• I didn't get cookies for gifts baked.  I didn't get everything done I needed to do, so as a consequence our house was a mess for guests on Saturday (lovely guests who gave us a humongo size box of diapers as a baby gift - boo yeah!) and we had little to feed them.  I didn't get the ham that we were to provide for Christmas Eve at my grandfather's picked up until after we were supposed to be at his house already.  We didn't put lights or ornaments on the tree until after coming home from his house on Christmas Eve, after we cleaned the family room.  Who the heck decorates the tree at 8pm on Christmas Eve?  BigDaddyFish and I were up until 3am getting everything wrapped and placed under the tree.  I also never got a picture taken or a letter done or cards sent out - we will be doing a New Year's Newsletter instead, I think.
• My MIL woke up on Christmas Eve with shingles.  She refused to call the doctor or go to the ER to get it officially diagnosed and treated.  She wasn't even going to tell us, but she let it slip to my SIL, who is an EMT, and she freaked out and yelled at MIL that she had to tell us, and that she couldn't come near us.  She and my FIL and his mother were supposed to come to my grandfather's house - she would have exposed my grandfather, who is in frail health, as well as my baby and my cousin's baby.  Thank God my SIL has a tendency to freak out over such things.  MIL called the doctor yesterday, was finally seen and confirmed and given an antiviral that probably won't do much because she waited longer than 48 hours to get it.  She cannot come near us for 2 weeks.
• Things at my grandfather's were both subdued and chaotic, if that is at all possible.  Subdued, because we all miss my grandmother; Granddaddy did well, though, only crying twice.  They always gave out money to everyone as gifts, and he is continuing with the tradition.  He is 82 and has cancer - multiple myeloma, and he's getting chemo for it.  Mental confusion goes along with that type of cancer.  When the envelopes were handed out and everyone opened theirs, Trout and Little Man had empty envelopes.  When it was noticed, Granddaddy gave them some money, but a 7 year old and a 5 year old can't really handle that kind of situation gracefully, nor do they understand.  Trout had a meltdown, and Little Man was clearly hurt, though he didn't cry.  We also have a new step-cousin in the family due to my cousin's marriage this past summer.  Those cousins weren't going to see each other on Christmas day, so they brought and exchanged gifts at Granddaddy's.  This has happened many times in previous years, sometimes involving my kids, so they should be used to some people getting presents and others not getting so many.  It usually wasn't a big deal because in addition to money my grandparents wrapped up small gifts for the kids, like boxes of animal crackers or lollipops, so everyone had something to open.  This year, granddaddy didn't do that, so the new cousin had a LOT of things to open, and my kids had none, and again, 7 and 5 year olds don't handle that so well.  If I had known Granddaddy wasn't going to wrap something up I would have brought something along myself so they would have something to open, but I didn't know.  The two things, the empty envelopes and no presents when one child in particular got about 15, made for a really really unhappy time for my oldest kids.  I felt so bad for them, and felt like I was a lousy mommy, because it really wasn't anyone's fault and no one did anything wrong, but I felt like I could have planned better to mitigate things.  They felt like they weren't loved as much as the other kids, and my heart hurt for them.
• After presents were opened and my kids recovered, they were playing with the new toys, which the other kids generously shared.  Unfortunately, most of the ones the girl cousin got were ... Bratz dolls.  Seriously.  And my family thinks I'M a freak.  Anyway, the girls were playing, and the girl offered one of the dolls to Trout.  Trout said "I'm not allowed to play with those" and just sat there.  Given the circumstances, I told her it was okay to play with the girl's doll while we were there.  We then talked in the car on the way home about why I think they are inappropriate, but that others don't necessarily agree with us, and that we have to respect their views even if we don't agree with them.  I was proud of her for remembering what I had taught her, but not getting into an argument with them about it, and I made sure I told her so.
• Friday afternoon we exchanged gifts with my SIL and my nieces.  I had a little trouble figuring out what to get my younger niece that she would really enjoy.  SIL told me she would enjoy art supplies, so I got a rubbermaid tub and filled it with crayons, paper, tape, glue, envelopes, and all sorts of little stuff for her to do what she wanted with it.  I couldn't figure out how to wrap it, so I just stuck a bow on it and gave it to her.  She opened it up, picked up the tape and the 64 count box of crayons, hugged them to her, and whispered "Thank you, God."  Now that's the kind of reaction you hope for.
• I was really excited for BDF to open his gifts this year.  I had been filing info in the back of my brain about things he wanted but never got himself.  He got a coffee maker, coffee beans, a rice cooker, a rice cooker cookbook, a DVD set he wanted, and some CDs he wanted but never bought himself.  I did good - he was tickled with everything.
• Favorite presents among kids:  American girl dolls, Aquadoodle, Gameboy Star Wars Lego game, GlowWorm
• I got a whole host of books, a couple of CD's, earrings with November birthstones (citrine, I think - BDF gives me jewelry of some kind with the child's birthstone after each one I've had), a chopper (electric - I had asked for a manual one but this rocks), and an iPod Nano.  I had asked for a generic MP3 player, it didn't need to be an iPod because I didn't want that much money spent on it and I wasn't sure how much I'd use it, but both DH and Little Man didn't listen.  Little Man picked it out - it is hot pink.  They also gave me a gift card to get accessories.  Plus I got towels - BDF is apparently on a towel kick, because this is 2 years in a row that I've gotten towels that I didn't ask for, and he gave towels to the kids, too.  Guess he's worried about us not being able to dry ourselves.
• SIL got a brand-new Mercedes for Christmas.  This is a total shock because we weren't aware that they could afford a car like that - it is replacing a KIA Sportage.  BIL is a volunteer fireman, and the car was behind the fire station for 4 days before Christmas.  On Christmas morning at 4 am, BIL got a page from the station, went up, got the car and drove it home, put the bow on it, and went back to bed.  SIL opened the keys on Christmas morning.  She had no clue - gotta love when everything is a surprise.  I have to say I'm a bit jealous - not because I want a Mercedes, because I don't, and don't even want a car right now, but because BIL put so much thought and effort into his gift, and I have to provide a list of stuff I want if I want to get anything at all.
• My father, who is on an extended business trip in AL, drove home for Christmas instead of flying because he needed to get his car emissions inspected.  He had already been granted a waiver, and had to get the AL sheriff to take a picture of his car and fax it to the MVA here to prove it was down there, which he did back in august, I think.  He gets here and looks at the notice so he could go to get the test done today, because my sister told him on the phone that is was due in February.  It is.  February 2008.  One day, she'll learn how to read.
• My sister called me on Friday to ask if she needed to worry about getting my father's bills to me (I am paying his bills on his apartment up here, where my sister lives, while he is on his extended business trip in AL).  I asked her what the earliest due date is.  She said the 28th, but "that's not soon, so we're good, right?"  Friday was the 22nd.  My father is paranoid and won't let me do his bills online.  She's 33 years old - one day, she'll grow up and get a clue.  She has issues - more on that another day.

Off to fold the never ending laundry.

So, what are the must-have accessories for an iPod?

Simple Gifts

Her Bad Auction, which was held to raise money to benefit research into Muscular Dystrophy, raised over $3000.  I am proud to have been able to help in my own small way, by linking to the auction - I hope at least some of you checked it out.  However, a whole lot of people helped out so much more than I did - please take some time to check out the Magi by clicking the button below.  And please remember, this holiday season, the most important gifts of all are those that are the most simple, and the most rewarding, to give.

In the Past Week

• Sunny tried to feed Nemo a chicken nugget because we have been successful in teaching her to share.  I was upstairs dealing with Doctor Disrespect and his sister Distraction, and I wasn't around to protect him.  Fortunately, I drove home the point that Nemo is small, so she gave him a very small piece.  Apparently, I didn't do so hot with the lesson of He. Only. Gets. Milk. From.  Mommy's. Breasts. And. Nothing. Else.  He was fine; I wasn't.
• Little Man had to pee after school and of course didn't feel like he should mention it until AFTER the three were loaded in the car, so off we went running back into the school so he could pee.  I usually don't lock my car because the alarm goes off for no reason whatsoever, but I wanted to leave my bag with the wallet in it behind, so I locked it.  The hallway bathroom in the school (as opposed to those in the classrooms) is narrow, so there is no room for the double stroller, so I waited in the hallway with Nemo and Sunny while Little Man did what he had to do.  He came around the corner saying "It sure is tall in here" while walking on his tiptoes.  It was funny (okay, I recognize you probably had to be there).  We came out of the school, and I could immediately hear the car alarm going off, so we hustled a bit, but the entrance to the school is around a corner past the playground, so my keyfob thingy wouldn't "reach" yet.  As we came up the hill, there were about six moms on the playground staring off into the parking lot, and I announced "It's mine, it's fine, sorry" but apparently this had no effect, as they continued to look like meerkats on alert for a predator.  I repeated myself, and they very sincerely asked if I was okay.  I told them I was fine, just had a potty emergency.  I've never seen ANYONE take a car alarm going off so seriously.  I never do.
• I've had to call Santa on the cell phone twice to report bad behavior.
• Bulb syringe. Ketchup. Sunny.  Painting.  Use your imagination.  Yeah, like that.
• Water from under the Christmas tree is apparently useful for washing grapes. 

There were about six other things I wanted to blog about, but have since forgotten about in the ensuing chaos.  I'm sorry - they were funny.  We have a Christmas tree up - no lights, no ornaments, and the kids act like it's a maypole, but it's up, and watered.  Trout has some sort of croupy thing - she has very mild asthma, probably from having RSV when she was 3 months old, and it only causes problems when she is sick.  I was going to give her a hit from her inhaler this morning when she woke up wheezy, but BigDaddyFish sent her out to sit on the front porch instead - stroke of brilliance.  Had the desired effect with no side effects, unless you count being a little chilly.  But she is home from school and that means all kinds of weird messes, not to mention no babysitter/house help for me today.  I was looking forward to getting a nap.

Big 6-week postpartum checkup for me tomorrow.  That oughta be fun. 

So, what are you doing for the holidays?  Are you ready?  What kind of fun or funny tradition do you have?  I love the holidays and am enjoying developing traditions with our family and am open to all ideas, both commonplace and the, um, more eccentric.  I love to get comments, too, so load me up.  It's tough to get out with all this going on over here, so this blog is pretty much my social life.  I could use some community love right now.  I think I'd have postpartum depression, but I don't really have the time right now.

New Baby Tip #287

It sure is easier to deal with your day on only 2 hours of sleep and with your oldest home from school with a cough but not really sick otherwise when your baby smiles at you.  And it's not gas.

Help Tanner at Her Bad Auction

If you haven't already done so, go check out Her Bad Auction, an auction/raffle to help out Tanner, nephew of Her Bad Mother.  Tanner has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy, and won't get to grow up and live his life like he should.  Her Bad Auction will benefit research into Muscular Dystrophy.  If you can't participate in the auction, at least please send a letter to Tanner, or pictures your kids have drawn, or a card, or something else to brighten up Tanner's day by getting something cool in the mail.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like, um, Thanksgiving?

I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit.  I have almost finished all of my holiday shopping - I just need to get one thing for my niece, one thing for my godson, and all the stocking stuffers for the whole family, including myself.  Santa is very no nonsense on the stockings - they are usually filled with fruit, underwear, socks, and toiletries to last at least the first quarter of the new year, because what says joy unto the birth of Christ like a new toothbrush, some shampoo, and some BVDs?  So almost done.

Then will come the baking extravaganza, since I declared that I am a terrible capitalist many years ago when things got out of hand money-wise and we didn't have much of it, and I declared that gifts will only be given to those under 18, and all adults will be given baked goods, and that we would much rather receive visits with our loved ones than gifts for ourselves, since anything we need we tend to provide for ourselves, anyway, and anyone who didn't like that could lump it.  I will need to rustle up a mere 20 dozen cookies in the space of just a few days, since all I have for a freezer is on top of the refrigerator, and we usually have that filled to bursting with our daily food needs.  But that will wait until closer to Christmas Eve.

We usually gather at my grandparents' house, the whole family, on Christmas Eve.  My grandmother was a neonatal nurse for 25 years, and she always volunteered to work on Christmas Day, so that those co-workers with children could be home with them on Christmas Day, and she always had Christmas Eve off.  She was retired for more than 20 years, but we kept to that tradition - it worked well, because then the "in-laws" (or out-laws as my dad always called it) could have Christmas Day, or we could just spend it ourselves, if we liked (which is what we have done since we had kids here in the Fish Pond).  This will be the first Christmas without her since she died back in January.  We are still gathering at Granddaddy's house - I'm just not sure how merry it will be.

Her birthday was around Thanksgiving, and I think the only thing distracting me from how things had changed was Nemo's birth - which may very well have not happened if she were still here.  It was the whole family, even an aunt and cousins who I hadn't seen in years, gathering at her bedside as she struggled her final struggle with the breast cancer that finally got her, it was that gathering that reminded me of how much I loved my big extended family, and how much I wanted to provide that for my kids.  I knew it wouldn't come from anywhere else, as no one else is having any kids.  So here Nemo is, and he is delightful in a curdled-milk smell, grouchy sort of way.  I know she would have loved him so much, would have delighted in his chunkiness and gurgles.  He rounds our family out so well, but at the same time, I don't really want to acknowledge what this Christmas is going to be like.  Without her.  With my grandfather fighting his own battle, and becoming more frail and, just, well, old, every minute (I need to explain - my grandfather has never been old until now.  He is now 82.  He has worked out his whole life and has been able to run circles around most people half his age his entire life.  He broke his foot in his 70s - playing softball and running out a double after the break rather than stepping back and having it taken care of - not falling in the tub as many people assumed when I talked about it.  He has always been amazingly strong and full of life - til lately).  I have been without my own mother for so long; they are her parents, they have been such a huge part of my life from the very beginning, and I knew this was coming, but just hoped if I ignored it I could stave it off for some time.  It's hard coming to terms with the fact that the time has come.

Maybe that's why there are still pumpkins and mums on the front porch, and we haven't put up any of our Christmas decorations.  I am not ready for Christmas - I'm not done with Thanksgiving grief yet.

Trying to See the Humor In This So I Don't Throttle Them

My father called to say that his contract for his job in Alabama has been renewed for another year.  This is fantastic news.  I talked to him about logistics for all of maybe 7 minutes.

In that time Trout took Sunny up to the bathroom, as the one on this level is still out of commission because BigDaddyFish is painting it.  That was supposed to take a weekend.  He started it a month before Nemo was born.

So, anyway, Sunny peed successfully, and then....they decided it was a fun idea to play with toothpaste and the toothbrushes (what is it with the toothpaste, anyway?).  They destroyed the bathroom.  They apparently put toothpaste all through Sunny's hair, necessitating a shower.  They. Put. Toothpaste. On. Everyone's. Pillows.  Except Trout's.  Which would be less of a big deal, except BDF's pillow is buckwheat hulls and can't be washed.  Guess what Trout's getting BDF for Christmas?  They also contaminated all the brand new toothbrushes that were just opened last week.

Off to do laundry.  And clean the bathroom.  And finally get them dinner.  And take care of the baby.  And get some bourbon.  And google military schools and child psychologists.

What to DO With This Child???

Today I got a note home from Trout's teacher.  It says:

Please talk to Trout about keeping her hands, feet, and objects to herself.  She has been poking other children.  She told me she knows its not ok, but she keeps doing it because "it is fun!"  I explained that it is not "fun" to anyone else.

My own emphasis added in boldface, but the teacher's grammatical errors intact.  I am dumbfounded.  Trout knows better.  We have taught her better.  BigDaddyFish says he wants to handle this himself, and he intends to take her out to talk.  Over coffee.  Huh.  I already won't let her go to her friend's house this afternoon, and I'm not taking her to the school holiday shop this evening.  But this is a fundamentally bad thing - she's enjoying hurting other people, and I don't know what to do about it.  I really don't think talking over coffee is going to help much.  Any ideas?

I am so disappointed in her.  This is really the first time I've felt this profound, deep-seated sadness about her.  I know it won't be the last, but I really, really don't like it.

In other news, Nemo should be named Oinker or something.  He is one month old today.  He saw the doctor for a checkup - just 10 days since the last one.  In those 10 days, he's grown 3/4 of an inch in length, and put on 1.5 pounds.  I just wish he'd sleep.

I guess one way or another, we moms lose sleep over our kids their whole lives.

Any ideas what to do about Trout?  I don't have my own mother to ask for advice, my MIL is really clueless about such things (never would admit that her kids would do such a thing anyway), and my father doesn't have any idea, because my mom always handled it.  I'd sure appreciate any advice (or assvice) you may be able to offer.