Can Somebody Please Tell Me...

• What is the allure with those Happy/Kids' Meal toys?  And how to tap the creativity used by the kids to hide their food so they can convince me they ate so they can have said toys and channel it for good, instead of evil?
• Why Trout is completely incapable of not ignoring me, and how to keep from stroking out and my head spinning around and pea soup spewing from my mouth as I shriek in otherworldly tones in response?
• Why I am the only one in the house who can refill a soap dispenser?
• Why I am the only one in the house who seems concerned about doing anything in a timely manner, indeed arriving at any place ON TIME?
• Why I am the only one in the house who knows that HURRY means to move in a more rapid manner towards the desired goal, such as, I dunno, going to school, or maybe, um, eating dinner in less than 1 hour so that we can get to Brownies on time, since Brownies is, uh, I dunno, FUN, or something?
• Why it takes an hour to eat one piece of pizza and a few carrots, anyway?
• How to get Triple Paste Medicated Ointment out of couch cushions?
• How to get through a day without projectile vomit in my hair and down my bra?

It's amazing the house is still standing and I haven't commited a crime, or been commited.

Comments

[Her Bad Mother]

Why? Because the gods need their entertainment. Welcome to the zoo.

[Uncle Orca]

1)they are colorful and plastic

2)because you're MOMMY.

3)see #2

4)see #2

5)see #2

6)because you don't sit them to eat at the table away from the tv and toys and such. (we're being honest, right?)

7)sandblasting.

8)HAZMAT suit.

:-) I miss them. When I get the van back I may descend on you and kidnap them for ice cream.

[FishyGirl]

Actually, they HAVE been eating at the table and the tv has been off - part of my whole Revolution thing. Trout has a knack for creating ways to be distracted...you know, by things like, air.

Van is gone again? Beginning to think it's a big, blue lemon....

[Uncle Orca]

viva la revolution!