Beautiful Day

Welcome the March Blog Exchange! My name is Cori. I am a full-time stay-at-home mom of two little boys, Matt almost 3 and Cameron 18 months. While I am posting here as part of this month's blog exchange, Fishy Girl is sharing her thoughts on my blog SAHMbles ... . Click here to check out the other posts this month, and to get more info on the Blog Exchange. For this month's blog exchange we were to pick a song, use the title as our post title, and write a post about using the content of that song. It can be fiction or non-fiction. I chose Beautiful Day by U2 as I am reminded of that song every single morning.

Every morning when we wake up and come downstairs I open the blinds and a small child exclaims in a sweet innocent voice,

"It’s a beautiful day Mommy!"

and I say,

"Yes, Matthew it is. It’s a beautiful day".

Can you hear that voice? Was it your voice when you were small?

I love that voice; I love the innocent enthusiasm, the love for life, the joyous celebration of a simple thing. But that voice makes me sad as well, sad for many reasons. I think of myself as that small child. I remember a child with wide-eyed enthusiasm who embodied the joy filled celebration of life. That child who had her spirit crushed and broken. That small child who turned into a sad withdrawn creature, who grew into a rebellious adolescent, who changed into an angry resentful young woman, who in turn became a sad bitter person. That spirit who struggled for years to once again see that beautiful day.

That beautiful day returned when I met my husband. The day I knew I loved him I cried frightened tears, too good to be true, what if I lost this beautiful day?  Frightened to love, to let someone into my life, I cried and cried frightened tears. It truly was a beautiful day, late in the spring I was talking to my Aunt on the telephone and I began to cry, I looked out the window, the sky was the clearest of blue and the sun shone in a soft, peaceful way that when I think of it makes me long for spring. In her wonderful east coast accent she said,

“Bless your heart darling, why are you crying?"

“I met a man.” I sobbed.

“Oh you’re in love.” she said and I was.

Each year brings more happiness yet still I’m afraid, afraid of so many things. I’m afraid of losing it all. What if something happens to Allen, what will I do? I’ve never felt so loved. What if something happens to one or both of my children? How will I cope? How will I survive? My greatest challenge in life is to overcome my fears so that I can become spirit that I was meant to be. Overcoming my fears means that I can face any challenge the world sends my way and it mends a broken heart. My heart.

Every morning that I wake up and I hear that sweet voice, I commit myself to loving unconditionally, to nurture, to protect, to cherish, to grow beautiful children that always hold true to that beautiful day. To grow children who see the wonderment of the world, who are happy, self-assured, secure and above all, children who feel safe and loved in the arms of their parents and the people they choose to let into their lives.

My life has changed so much, I could never see past the age of 17, I thought that once I finished school I would cease to exist, that there was no hope, no future. Now in my fortieth year, each morning that I wake up, I’m so surprised when I open my eyes and so very happy that I thank the heavens I have been given another day. I am forever grateful for my little man who comes downstairs and reminds me that everyday is a Beautiful Day.

Comments

[Nutmeg]

I could so relate to this post. Will we ever stop waiting for the other shoe to drop?

[Laura Lohr]

That was touching! Great post!

I believe our children teach us to learn to find the goodness in life all over again.

[FishyGirl]

One of the great things about having kids - a "do-over" of perspective. Nicely done, Cori, and thanks for having me over at your place.

[Alex]

I get scared thinking about those same thoughts. I know exactly what you're saying.

[Jenn]

it's hard to look at them every now and then and just be overwhelmed by their faith in every day - that it *is* a beautiful day. lovely post! (and great song!) :)