The Fish Pond

Ways In Which I am Weird

So Amalah tagged the whole internet with this meme thing, and since she's the Queen of Everything and all, I should do what she says, so here are 6 weird things about me:

1. I am allergic to green beans, rice, and peas, but I didn't know about it until after I was married and got allergy tests, so I ate them all up til that point.  Now I don't eat them at all, and if I try to, I get a stuffy head and a huge headache.
2. I have enormous tonsils.  Seriously huge.  I can barely breathe every time I get strep, and each time I get a new doctor they say "God, you have huge tonsils!"  It's bad enough that now I warn new doctors - "I have huge tonsils" but they still act surprised when they see them.  Did they think I was lying?
3. I have a huge tongue, too.  I can touch the bottom of my chin with it.  Gene Simmons ain't got nuthin' on me.
4. I only ever dated two guys who weren't musicians.  Over the years I dated 3 sax players, 3 trombone players (married one of them), and had a fling with a drummer (I shoulda known better).  I also had a penchant for guys with the same name - two Tims, two Steves, two Pauls, three Daves.  Not all at the same time.
5. I once learned someone's phone number by singing it outloud to the tune of "867-5309 (Jenny)"
6. Due to long road trips on the way to and from Nags Head, NC every.single.summer, I know most of the words to most of the songs by The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, the Mamas and the Papas, and a bunch of stuff from the Ray Conniff singers.  Sometimes, I'll catch myself humming "Top of the World" or "Copa Cabana" and I have to make myself stop.

Now aren't you glad you know all this?  Don't you wish you knew me IRL (if you don't already?)  I think I'm supposed to tag someone with this, so I tag Summer, Angi, and Jean.  And Uncle Orca, but I won't link to him because he only has a blasted Myspace page.

edited to add:

Eep!  I just discovered I was tagged by Izzy to do five weird things, so here are a few more:

1. Similar to Izzy, the national anthem makes me cry.  Always.  I had to train myself to not cry while playing clarinet in marching band by focusing SOLELY on my part.  Harmony was never so good.
2. I once SANG the national anthem for a HS basketball game.  I got through it by standing behind the team, so no one could see me.  Somehow I managed to sing most of the song, and only start to cry on "home, of the, braaaaaave."
3. I am 4'10" tall.  I used to wear a size 4.5 shoe.  Super hard to find in grownup shoes.  Now that I've had kids I can wear a 6.5.
4. My birthday is on the cusp of two different Zodiac signs.
5. My first pets that I can remember were my fish that I had when I was 5: Harry, Harry, Sally, and Sally.  Harry, Sally, and Sally died within a week, but Harry lived to be at least 3, until one day he jumped out of his bowl when we weren't around to throw him back in.

What New Babies (and Parents) Need

A little while back Uncle Orca asked me to put together a list of things new babies need, for some friends of his who are expecting their first child sometime in the near future.  They wanted the voice of experience to help them.  Well, I am nothing if not experienced, and I have a tendency to run my mouth, so I was probably a good choice for this, but I am also frequently insecure, so this is the list I put together.  If you think I left something out, please let me know in the comments so I can update the list, in case someone else needs it.

MUST HAVES

1. Something to eat.  This can mean breastfeeding.  If it does, you'll need a few good nursing bras, nursing pads, and a pump, although what kind of pump varies greatly depending on your needs (a manual one for occasional use, or a dual electric model for if you need to be away from your baby for extended periods, such as a full time job).  You might want a few bottles, too, if you want or need to be away from your baby*.  I recommend a class before you have the baby if you want to breastfeed, and I recommend that BOTH PARENTS ATTEND.  You can learn more about my position on breastfeeding, and get some tips, here.  A nursing pillow is great, especially if you have a c-section - I prefer the My Brest Friend over the boppy, but I have 2 boppies currently in circulation, so obviously they are both good.  If bottle feeding, you'll need bottles and a few different kinds of nipples (babies definitely can have a preference), a bottle brush, and a good stock of formula.  You can get online at the formula companies and register to received formula samples and coupons.  Talk to your pediatrician about what brand he/she recommends - they will probably also have formula samples to hand out. 
2. Diapers.  You'll go through a butt-load of diapers before potty training (pun intended).  You'll need to experiment with the different brands to see which work best for your baby - all four of mine have needed different brands at different times based on their weight and shape of their butts.  Right now we are using Huggies Supreme, because the absorbent mesh they put into Pampers caused irritation in Nemo's nether bits, and the cheaper diapers (we tried 3 different store brands, plus the regular Huggies) left us with major blowouts/leaks.  I would buy only one package of newborn size, though - all four of my babies ended up going right to size 1s, and you don't know how big your baby is going to be.  Again, you can register online to get coupons sent to you in the mail.  Couple them with a sale a Target and it makes diapering a bit easier to take.  You'll also need some type of diaper cream or ointment - I have used Balmex, A&D, Boudreaux's Butt Paste, Desitin, Dr. Smith's Diaper Creme, and Triple Paste.  The triple paste is the best for the truly intractable rashes, but for everyday preventive measures, I like Balmex or A&D ointment.  I have never used cloth diapers - no service around here and I can't keep up with the laundry as it is - so I cannot speak to them other than to say they are unbelievably cute, they are supposed to be better for the environment and a ton cheaper, and they make potty training easier.
3. A place to sleep.  This can mean a ton of different things, but for us we used a bassinet for the first 3-6 months or so, then transitioned either to our bed or a crib.  I had no intention of doing a family bed here, but Trout got RSV when she was 3 months old, and we were so terrified she'd stop breathing we moved her into our bed so we could watch her.  BigDaddyFish wouldn't let her leave because he kept worrying about her, and ultimately it ended up being great because it was easier to nurse and face it, it's fun to cuddle with your kids.  But Little Man was too light a sleeper for that to work and NONE of us slept (he helicopters), so he moved into a crib when he outgrew the bassinet.  Some babies go right to crib from day one.  If you choose to co-sleep, MAKE SURE YOU LEARN HOW TO DO IT SAFELY, and if you use a crib, make sure it is either brand new or complies with current safety standards.  Land's End makes the best crib sheets I've ever seen, worth the slightly higher expense, and they last a long, long time (we are on our originals we've had since Trout was born, and they don't show any signs of wear).
4. Clothes to wear.  This is actually pretty easy to come by, because people get excited about you having a baby and they like to give you stuff, which is usually clothes.  Most people I know got enough size 0-3 and 3-6 clothes at their baby showers alone to outfit not just their child but the neighbors, as well.  You'll need about 10 onesies or tshirts, and about 7-10 sleepers, depending on how often you do laundry.  You'll need a couple of hats, either to keep the baby warm if it is cold out, or to keep the sun off the baby if it's warmer out, plus a couple of those little caps for when they first come home from the hospital.  ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT IS OPTIONAL.  Really.  Cute dresses and pant suits are just that, cute, as are those adorable little shoes, but none of that is necessary.  As we added kids to the family, each one spent more time in sleepers than the previous one, such that Nemo has only worn something other than a sleeper maybe twice, and that's only because all the sleepers were in the laundry.  It was a bit of a shock when the kids outgrew the shower/gift items and we needed to buy some clothes, so if it is an option you might want to ask for people to buy larger sizes, too.
5. Blankets and spit rags.  For some, these mean the same thing, though cloth diapers make excellent spit rags.  Depending on your laundry situation, you'll need up to 5 blankets (do you sense a theme here?), and I'd start with one package of cloth diapers for spit rags.  If you end up with a baby with reflux, you will need to triple the amount of spit rags, or do laundry more frequently.
6. Car Seat.  Baby will be rear-facing until at least one year AND 20 pounds, but should be rear facing for as long as possible.  We have a Graco Snugride for the infant seat, and Britax seats for everything else.  They no longer make the Snugride, but there is a replacement that is good.  Britax seats are worth every penny.  They are easy to install correctly and they fit so tightly when properly installed that They.Don't.Freakin'.Move.  They rock.  For more car seat tips, go here.  Look for an involved car seat post from me in the near future.
7. A support network.  Adjusting to a new baby is tiring and stressful.  Good stress, most of the time, but stressful nonetheless.  Help for mom and dad in the way of housework, meals, and babysitting time is essential.  As a new parent, don't be afraid to ask for what you need and insist on how you need it.  Parents don't need someone to hold the baby so Mom can do dishes; parents need someone to do the dishes so Mom can focus on bonding with her baby.  A good idea is to post a list of tasks that need to be done on the fridge, and when someone asks what they can do to help, point them to the list and let them pick.  And don't be afraid to kick people out who overstay their welcome - they'll understand that you are tired and need your rest and bonding time, and if they don't, they'll get over it.  (and if they don't?  Tell 'em to...nevermind)
8. A good pediatrician.  Interview these before the baby is born.  If you live in upper Montgomery County, Maryland, email me for the best pediatricians in the area.  Otherwise, ask around for recommendations (nurses on pediatric units in hospitals are a great place to find good doctors).  Some key things to look for:  separate waiting rooms for sick and well children, a similar philosophy on things like feeding preference and sleeping preference, affiliation with a local children's hospital, friendly and helpful staff, a bright and child-friendly office (just think back to what it's like to be a sick kid or a hurt kid and you'll know why this is important).  Our pediatricians (who I LOVE) had a new parent orientation for us to learn about their practice before any of our kids were born.  If your pediatrician doesn't offer this, you may have to schedule an appointment in order to learn more about them.
9. A thermometer.  A run-of-the-mill, digital thermometer is good - just make sure you don't mix rectal and non-rectal use.  :-)

NICE TO HAVES

All these things are good to have, but aren't essential.  Only the things above are things you absolutely can't do without.

1. A stroller.  Because that baby is going to get heavy, and you don't want to carry him/her around ALL the time, because sometimes you need your arms.  Plus it's nice to go on walks - most babies love being outside in the fresh air, and it makes shopping easier.
2. A baby-wearing device, either a sling or carrier.  I can't say enough about the Babyhawk Mei Tai, but I have used both slings and the Baby Bjorn.  All are good depending on your body type and comfort.
3. A bouncer seat.  It is fun and comfy for baby, lets you get a shower and still have baby in sight, and is lightweight and easy to carry around the house as needed.  If you are truly lazy like me, you'll have one on each floor of your house.
4. A portable play yard, i.e. a Pack and Play.  Mine has a bassinet and so is a convenient place for baby to sleep if you have a 4 level townhouse like me and want to keep baby with you when you are on a different level of the house as the bedrooms.  Later on, it is good for travel and as a safe play area/time out spot.
5. A playmat.  We have a Gymini Gym.  A good alternative to the bouncer seat and also allows for tummy time.
6. Some sort of diaper pail.  We had a Diaper Genie and thought it was a pain in the ass (just one more trash can that was more difficult to empty), and we didn't mind the smell, so we just used the regular trash and bagged as needed for the truly odiferous diapers.  Some people mind the smell and don't mind the hassle of the diaper pail, so this would be good for you.
7. A diaper bag.  This isn't necessary because you can just throw a diaper and some wipes in your purse if it's big enough.  Alternatively, you can use any old bag - backpacks are great.  Plus the hospital will give you a diaper bag when you leave, so you don't need to buy one yourself.  But if your child will be going to child care, it is nice to have a diaper bag with insulated pockets for bottles.
8. A stash of baby medicines.  You'll need these eventually, and it is a good idea to have them around before you need them, so you don't have to run out in the middle of the night when baby gets sick.  You only need infant acetaminophen and possibly Mylicon (gas medicine) initially.  Ibuprofen isn't used until over 6 months of age, and cold medicines are usually not recommended under 2 years old, mostly because they don't work worth a shit.  Saline nose drops are good, too, because if your baby gets a stuffy nose it helps to use the drops and suction his nose out with the booger sucker (aka bulb syringe, provided by the hospital when you leave).
9. Baby nail trimmers.  These are good - I actually prefer them, but some people don't.  It is just as easy to use an emery board or file and just file them down (best done while baby is sleeping).
10. Baby-cute ice packs and bandaids.  Your child is GOING to get hurt sometime.  It's good to have some kid-friendly ice packs (boo-boo bunnies or flexible gel packs) and some cute band aids around - it really does make a difference to the kids.  I also like to keep a bag of frozen peas around for this purpose - makes a great ice pack.  Just remember to mark them so you don't eat those peas.
11. Bibs.  But you won't need them til later.
12. A high chair or a booster seat.  Ditto above.  But!  Do a little research first, and really think about your space constraints.  We have a high chair, and use it sometimes, but frankly we use a booster seat that straps to one of our kitchen chairs much more often and for longer.
13. An exersaucer.  Good for playing variety.
14. A baby bathtub.  I have one that folds up and fits into the sink, but I tend to use it in the bathtub so I have more space to work and there is more to catch the splash mess.  If you have a kitchen sink that is large enough, though, that works great.  The best is to get into the grownup tub with your baby, but this works best when there is another adult around to help you both get in and out of the tub.
15. Baby proofing paraphenalia.  You won't need this til later.  Plug covers, gates, and cabinet locks are pretty much essential, but we've mostly used the approach of Put It Away Til Baby Is Old Enough Not To Eat It or Break It.
16. Toys of choice.  Keep in mind that baby will outgrow things relatively quick and will make a toy out of just about anything you give him/her - pots and pans, cups, bowls, spoons, blankets, cardboard boxes, tennis balls, cell phones (watch the drooling here) - you get the idea.  Just make sure it is safe.
17. Books.  I almost put this under Must Haves, because I feel so strongly about it.  Read to your child.  It will make your kid smarter and it's a great way to bond.  Start with board books and move up to paper pages once baby is no longer eating them.

CRAP THAT PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED BUT YOU DONT - THESE ARE MOSTLY A WASTE OF MONEY

1. Dreft or other baby-specific detergent.  Even if you use separate detergent on baby's clothes, your baby will still come into contact with whatever you wash you own laundry in, unless you are never ever forever going to hold your baby.  Since we know how likely that is, if you are concerned about your baby's skin reacting, use a Free detergent, like Tide Free or All Free and Clear, for all the laundry.  Honestly, this isn't even an issue unless your baby breaks out, so my advice is to wait and see.
2. Special towels for the baby.  A grown-up towel is more absorbent, covers more and keeps the baby warmer, and is easier for the adult to use.
3. Ear thermometers.  From what I've been told from every doctor I've ever talked to, these are notoriously inaccurate.  They don't even use them in the hospital.  Stick with the cheapy $10 digital.
4. Buntings and coats for little babies.  Since you can't safely use a coat in the car seat, and there are very few situations where your baby is going to be out when it is cold that don't involve their car seat, you will do much better using a good, warm fleece blanket over your baby AFTER they are buckled in.  There are also car seat covers (they look like big shower caps) that will go over the seat, but I found these to make the baby too hot.  We just warmed up the car and used blankets.
5. Walkers.  These are dangerous and don't help baby learn to walk any faster.  I can't understand why they are still on the market when they've been shown to be a huge cause of baby injuries, but whatever.  Your money is better spent on an exersaucer.

I've probably forgotten something here, but this is a great start.  I hope this helps some of you who are about to be new parents.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Above all, trust your instincts - you know more than you think you do.  Your love is what baby needs most, and the rest will fall into place as you get to know each other.

*The need for a pump does not mean that you necessarily will be feeding your baby the milk that you pumped.  The first time I needed a pump was because I had mastitis and needed to make sure I was emptying my breasts.  You may also need to take medication for a short time that isn't good for your baby, so then you'll need to Pump and Dump to maintain your milk supply.

Sunny Says

Last night I was getting ready for bed, and in the process I change from a "regular" day bra to a much softer, comfortable "night" bra.  I must do this because the trusses required to support the girls during the day are much too restrictive for night, but the girls are much to heavy to go without support (plus I'd wake up in a pond of breastmilk, but that's another story).

"Momma, Those are BIG!!"  I look around behind me. "What are, Sunny girl?"

"THOSE, Momma!"  She points at me.  "They're REALLY BIG!"  I finally realize she means my chest.

"Yes, they are, girly.  That's how come your brother is so big, too."

"Momma, my bear is big, so I feed him, too."  She then proceeds to "nurse" her teddy bear.

--------------------------

Other random quotes:

"My stomach is getting lots and lots of full."

"Mommy, this thing here has a lot of hurts in it," pointing to her belly button.

"Mommy!  Mommy!  I did the poop in the little potty!!"  This, twice today.  Maybe the next couple of days will go as well as hers.

I Hope They Can Help Her

I was going to post about Uncle Orca, and the fact that he's a musician, and he has a CD out now through Cafe Press, and you should all go and buy it, but that will have to wait, because I have to talk about Lisa Nowak.

My father is bipolar.

Seems like a non-sequitur, doesn't it?  But it isn't.  As soon as I heard about her trip from Houston to Florida, and that she had recently separated from her husband, and how "not like her" her behavior was, I immediately thought about my father.  I immediately thought about where I've been, about a time when I went to LaLa Land. 

A while ago, ten years now, my heart problem appeared, but it is a very difficult problem to catch and diagnose, and frequently people with the problem, but women especially, are diagnosed with mental health problems first.  I was given a medication to slow my heart rate down below 100 bpm, and that caused depression as a side effect, but I was not given that information and not adequately warned or prepared for that possibility.  I had an extreme, overly sensitive reaction, and I went to LaLa Land.  I was off the charts psycho.  I couldn't do anything except cry.  Well, not cry really, more like wail, sob, writhe in agony, and I couldn't figure out what the hell was happening to me, but I knew, from my experiences with my father, that it wasn't right.  I was scared to death that I had become bipolar, a legacy left to me by my father, and I wanted it fixed.  I also recognized that the onset of my problems coincided with the taking of the drug to slow my heart down, so I kept demanding the drug be discontinued (I couldn't stop it abruptly because of the possible cardiac arrest that could result).  Eventually I checked myself in to the psychiatric ward at a local hospital because I wanted so badly for someone to help me - I wanted ME back.

While there I was doped up on more drugs, accused of "not participating in my own recovery" when I begged for the drugs to be discontinued.  I was put on antidepressants that caused anxiety as a side effect, and antianxiety drugs that cause depression as a side effect.  I was a mess, and I kept begging for the drugs to go away, while the "caregivers" I had piled on more and more drugs.  While there, though, I listened, and I learned a lot.  I was able to offer some of my experiences with dealing with my father to help others, and I learned more about bipolar episodes, especially manics, and about the paranoia that goes along with it.  Stories about "waking up" walking down the middle of the street stark naked in the rain because you thought you were Jesus were fairly commonplace.  Delusions about secret plots to overthrow the government and thinking you were the only one who knew about it and had the key to protect the president were also prevalent (my own father is in this category).  And then there were the romantic entanglements - crazy things that soap opera writers couldn't dream up.

Eventually I got out of the hospital, and I was taken off all the drugs, and with a little bit of therapy needed because of the trauma of what I had been through, I was fine, and I have been for 10 years.  A few years later, my heart problem was correctly diagnosed and treated, using a different drug without the side effects.  But I didn't forget that time, and how unhelpful and uncaring people were, about the assumptions that people made about those with some sort of mental illness, and what those who "went bipolar" went through to get diagnosed and successfully treated.*

The minute I heard about Lisa Nowak I thought to myself "Sounds like she went bipolar."  I talked to my father tonight; unsurprisingly, he thought the same thing.

It's just so sad.  A brilliant, strong woman at the height of her career completely wigs out.  This woman was a role model to my daughter; indeed, many girls throughout the world.  She got to fly the Space Shuttle - how cool is that?  And now, she and her family are humiliated and worried and will go through hell before all this is over.  She is the butt of all kinds of jokes, and in all the media talk about it I have yet to really see any concern for her and what might have caused this to happen, and concern for her family and what they are going through.  Can you imagine what her teenage son must be going through right now?  Or her younger kids, who can't really understand?  She may not be able to understand it herself.

It is worrisome to me that the mental health screening within NASA isn't good enough to catch something like this.  I would be extremely surprised if she isn't bipolar, though it is possible that even if she is we will never know about it, because a detail like letting someone who isn't fully in control of all their faculties fly a billion dollar space shuttle isn't going to sit well with the government and will probably be hushed up.  Unless her lawyer uses it in her defense. 

Maybe it's because I grew up in Rockville, where she did, but...I can't help but feel like -- it could have been me.  Or you.  Or your next door neighbor.  Or your sister.  Or your mother.  And we need to remember that and examine the situation accordingly.  We need to be concerned that she and her family are getting the help they need to get through this, rather than joke about it.  And we need to take care of each other, with compassion and understanding.  Is she mentally ill?  I don't know.  Probably.  I just don't know how to deal with the nagging little voice in my head that somebody knew something and should have reached out and didn't, and that we all have something we're supposed to learn from this.

*Incidentally, my father is a success story for those with mental illness everywhere.  He takes his medication religiously and has for almost 30 years now.  He once said to me that he couldn't understand why some people took drugs to make their brains do what he takes drugs to keep his from doing, and I think that had a lot to do with why I never went that route when offered.  He holds down a job and lives his life and unless he told you, you would never know he had a mental illness.  He has an odd personality, but that's just him, he's always been that way. 

Maybe I Should Just Buy Some Finger Paint

Today Trout, Little Man, and I had our biannual checkups at the dentist.  I have a boring mouth, so to spice things up a bit I got a fluoride treatment.  Party girl, I am.  Anyway, I didn't have a sitter so I had to take Sunny and Nemo with us.  They behaved beautifully, and we all survived the frigid temperatures and came back home.  I successfully navigated the Dunkin Donuts trap on the way home by saying "But you had fluoride, so you can't eat."  Slick, wasn't it?

At the dentist when the kids are done they get a toothbrush, a small tube of toothpaste, one of those flosser jobbies, and they get to pick a prize from the treasure chest.  Little Man and Trout both picked these gooey, stringy foot things that stick to the walls?  I'd never seen anything quite like them, but already I have fished the things off the ceiling twice (which is quite a feat considering my less-than-5-foot stature), and Little Man's is there now, where I left it after I refused to perform my monkey act to get it down.  The dentist's office is really nice and they let Sunny pick a prize too - a small wooden tooth with a face painted on it, designed to put a lost tooth in it.  I mean, a tooth that has fallen out, not one that is lost.  You know what I mean.

Once we got home I instructed the kids to "Put all your stuff away!" as they tossed coats, hats, mittens, gloves, shoes, socks, backpacks, and goodies hither and yon between our front door, our cubbies, and the kitchen (which really jacks my jaw because it is just as easy to put the damn things in the cubbies as throw them on the floor.  But I digress.).  I went into the kitchen to put down my bags, sort the mail, and work on getting the dishes started.  You know where this is going, right?  Come on, you know you do.

Sunny appears at the gate telling me "I gotta wash my hands, Mommy!" and gleefully showing me her bluish, blackish hands.  I thought for sure she got into the markers again.  I go over to examine her more closely and ask "What do you have on your hands, love?"

"Toothpaste!"

"Toothpaste?  Where did you get the toothpaste, hon?"

"Behind the exercise bike!"

There lay the mangled mini toothpaste tube, complete with neon blue globs and puddles, all over the carpet.  Little Man was the culprit this time (at least Trout learned her lesson.  Til next time, anyway).  And this after I had specifically pointed out "Put those away so your sister doesn't get into them."  I love how I talk to the walls in this house.  Anyway, I made him clean up the mess and throw out the remaining toothpaste, and I escorted Sunny to the bathroom to wash up.

I was back in the kitchen ten minutes later, and Sunny reappears at the fence, once again glopped up with toothpaste.  WTF? 

"Where did you get this, Sunny?"

"Behind the exercise bike!!"

I guess I should have been more specific about the cleanup effort.  Seems she had smeared it all over the back of the bike itself, in some sort of modern art exhibit.  This time I made Little Man hit it with the wipes.

Just what the hell is the attraction with the damn toothpaste?  I don't get it.

I'm just sayin.

Swimming in a Bigger Pond and Spreading Some Love

Hey.  Guess what?  The wonderfully talented champion of women and girls who isn't afraid to ask "WTF?", Izzymom, is letting me be part of the great team she has over at Props and Pans, her product review blog.  You can see my first review here.  I'll be over there from time to time, at least until Izzy gets sick of me and all my technoidiot questions, so make sure to visit the site and send all your friends.

Also?  Izzy was nominated for a "Share the Love Blog Award" in the category "Woman Power."  As soon as I saw the category I thought of her, before her name even popped up on screen, and I didn't know about these awards until after nominating time was over, so I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of her.  Please pop on over and take a look at the category, and Izzy's site if you're not already familiar with it, and take a second to vote for her in this category if you agree with me that she's the most deserving.  Check out all the other great women bloggers in all the other categories, too - there's a lot of top-notch writing going on there, and I'm sure you'll find something new and cool to add to your blogroll.

Now that we are once again able to eat and function in the Fish Pond, we will be busy trying to stay warm in these single-digit temps, mostly by running the dryer as we catch up on laundry (or try, at any rate - we NEVER get caught up completely).  Guess winter decided to come around after all.  Hope you all are well and warm.

Retched

The last 36 hours in The Fish Pond.  Have.  Been.  Horrid.

Yesterday morning at 7 am I awoke to "Bllluuuugghhhh!" and the tell-tale splash of vomit on carpet coming from my hallway.   

And thus began the wretched hell that has been the last day and a half.  Little Man woke up with an apparent stomach virus -- something never before experienced by him, so he wasn't sure what to do.  The poor thing threw up in his bed, all over his pillow, across the floor of his room, and halfway down the hallway to my room.  Mind you, the bathroom door is directly across the hall from his room, but since he'd never been through this before, he had NO CLUE that is where one should put one's vomit, so he decided it was better to take it to Mom and Dad.  Thoughtful of him, huh?

I should note that the night before I was having a pain in my abdomen, down in the lower right side between my hip and my belly button, but I've had pain like that off and on since my third c-section, so I really didn't think too much about it at the time.  I should learn to pay better attention.

As I steered Little Man into the bathroom to demonstrate the proper vomiting technique and location, BigDaddyFish informed me that Little Man "had insomnia last night - he was running around our bed at 6 am."  How the hell did I A) sleep through that, and B) manage to marry someone who thinks that supposed insomnia in some way causes or explains waking up vomiting?  I had checked on Little Man no fewer than 3 times when I got up to pee (thought this was supposed to go away after getting the watermelon off the bladder), and he was soundly snoring away, no sign of what was to come.

I stripped the bedding off Little Man's bed - the poor thing had managed to soak his pillow and had his head in such a position as the vomit ran off the bed, down into the cracks in the wood, and dripped into the under-the-bed drawers below.   BigDaddyFish jumped right into the role of helper and he not only supervised Little Man in his cleanup in the bathroom but grabbed towels and layed them out over the mess in the hallway while I ran around with Clorox wipes hitting everything in sight.  About this time Sunny gets up and starts grabbing at her, um, self and saying "My butt hurts, my butt hurts!" and crying.  Yay.

The day before, I had finally had enough of Sunny not allowing me to wipe her after potty training efforts, so I unfortunately had to hold her down and forcibly wipe her.  I thought that her complaining about her butt was due to that; it had bothered her enough that she complained to four different people on the phone that her butt hurt.  But then I made her let me take a look and she looked a bit red, so off we went to the doctor for the UTI check.  I had to hold her down while the nurse wiped her and put a little baggie on her to catch the urine (thank God for these things; although a little tough getting it on and off due to the tape, it is SOOOOOOOOOO much better than holding your child down while a catheter is inserted), but she is so far along in the potty training process that she stood up and peed.  on.  command.  Why are we bothering with pull-ups again?  Oh, right, poop.  More on this later.

I started to feel queasy about a hour before Sunny's doctor visit, but I thought it was the effect of dealing other people's bodily fluids and wastes, so I just took a long, hot shower, but that didn't alleviate my suffering.

By one o'clock I had joined my son in the musical bathroom game.  Good thing I had cleaned 3 of the 4 bathrooms by then. By late afternoon, it had progressed to needing a bucket in addition to the toilet, if you catch my meaning.  For both of us.

Somehow the Fish Pond had managed to avoid the stomach plague until this year.  Not a bad run, really.  But I could have lived my life without the streak ending.

Little Man managed to keep some crackers down last night, but I couldn't even retain water or gatorade.  I was up all night, every hour or so, sometimes as often as 8 times in one hour.  I never realized just how hard it is to take care of kids while you are so indisposed.  Indeed, I was stressed about breastfeeding so much that is pretty much all I did in between bathroom breaks.

Today I am weak and tired and don't have much appetite, but at least what I do eat is staying down.  I lost 8 pounds yesterday.

Today Nemo has been grumpy and pretty much nursed all. day. long.  If he is still grumpy before bed, I will have BDF feed him a bottle of EBM that I have stored in the freezer.

Trout really stepped up and took on a lot of responsibility that I didn't think she could handle, but now that she has, I will be giving her more to do.  Without being solicited at all, she went into Little Man's room and put the sheets on his bed and made it up for him, since I was on the couch or in the bathroom and it was apparent I wouldn't be doing it.  This morning I overslept and was perfectly fine with taking her to school late, under the circumstances, and I got up at 8:10 or so (she has to catch the bus at the stop 2 blocks away at 8:20) to get her up.  She was up, dressed, had made her lunch, and was getting her coat on to walk to the bus stop by herself (which isn't allowed, BTW).  She wouldn't have made the bus with the way she walks, so I hopped in the car and drove her.  She may very well regret doing this, as now I know that her well documented problems getting dressed in the morning and moving it along are just her being a pain in the ass, and I will expect more from her.

Today Sunny decided to be helpful after she pooped in her pullup, despite my entreaties to just go in the potty, and WENT to the potty.  She took her pullup off, dropped the turd on the floor, and STEPPED.  IN.  IT.  She ground the foot in good, such that the poop squooched up between her toes, and then she proceeded to track it across the entire living room to show me how helpful she was being, and to yell about the ickyness on her foot and how I needed to wipe it.

She got an emergency bath.

I need an emergency bath.  With bubbles.  And silence.  And maybe a backrub afterwards.