Last night I was moving laundry and as I opened my dryer to move Little Man's clothes through I immediately saw that it was yellow. Bright Yellow. As I pulled the clothes out I noticed lots of yellow spots and streaks on everything, but most noticably on his dress shirt for church. I assume that among the various beads, legos, coins, rocks, plastic lizards, playmobil parts, and contraband little crap from school that Little Man loves to stash in his pockets was a yellow crayon, but other than the fantastic dye job on my dryer and his clothes I have yet to locate any evidence to support that conclusion.
I rewashed a bunch of the more noticable stuff, like the church shirt, with color safe bleach and oxyclean thrown in, to little avail. It appears no more color is transfering from the dryer to the clothes, but how the heck am I going to get the stains out of Little Man's clothes? Any suggestions? We just bought most of them at the beginning of the month.
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Some other bloggers have been interviewing each other, so when Redneck Mommy asked for victims interviewees, I figured she'd have funny questions for me, if nothing else. So! This is what I got. Can't say I didn't ask for it.
You've decided to put yourself out on the market again. What physical feature do you try your hardest to enhance? Hmmm, not really sure. My guess is that with 4 kids under the age of 8 it would have to be something really dramatic, so as to distract from the pure chaos that is them, so I'd probably say my rack, not that it needs enhancing, per se, since it has its own zip code at this point, but maybe emphasizing. Or making available. Lord knows it's distracting as all hell at the moment.
Have you ever had a run in with the law? If so, spill... Frankly, not that I can recall real well. I do remember once having an officer tap on the window when BigDaddyFish and I were sitting somewhere in the car talking, to find out if "The Lady" was being bothered. The funny thing was we were just talking, and "The Lady" was "The Man's" wife, so I was no more bothered than wives typically are by their husbands. I was caught by my mom shoplifting some gum when I was about 5 or 6; she marched me back to the store and made me not only return it but face the store manager and admit what I had done. The man was stern but kind, and he scared me straight, but he didn't call the authorities. Other than that, just the random pullovers for various moving violations. I raise a ruckus in other ways less likely to land me in jail, like embarrassing myself and my neighbors with my stellar parenting Skillz.
Would you rather be a politician or a mortician? Why? Hands down a mortician. I would have to sacrifice too much of my integrity and privacy to be a successful politician. And frankly, if the dead are insulted by my lack of dignified behavior, they aren't likely to publish it in the newspaper or have me removed from office or something.
Describe the very worst dating experience you have ever had. Well, see, I didn't date much. Really. I just had boyfriends. But I had a knack for getting myself into awkward situations, like taking a swimming class in college to get the PE credits out of the way and finding myself stuck with my ex-boyfriend at the time in the same class. Plus being in band with same ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend at the same time (come to think of it, I did the whole band-with-ex-and-current thing at least 3 times, that I recall). Or, um, did I ever tell you Uncle Orca introduced BigDaddyFish and me, and Uncle Orca and I dated for a few months before I started dating BDF (I didn't break up with Uncle Orca for BDF, though. It ended of its own accord and I went back to college and got together with BDF later)? Yeah, that was never awkward. So no dating disasters per se.
But! In college I studied with a girl in one of my english classes, and I guess to pay me back for helping her out she invited me to a party at her parents' farmette. She was one of the "Cool" girls and I still proudly proclaim my Geek status, and I didn't know anyone else there, so I took my roommate at the time with me. It was set up around a bonfire with tents and stuff; it was clear pretty quickly that people were going to spend the night, but of course, I didn't have that information, and was completely unprepared for that. There was this guy there who bore a strong resemblance to a guy I'd had caught in my room on a band trip to Florida in HS with whom I'd had a brief fling. After a large amount of beer, this guy and I ended up making out by firelight, and things got...intense. My roommate left at some point, I think. It's a bit hazy now, given the passage of more than a decade. Anyway, at one point it became clear through my drunken fog that I was either going to have to sleep with this guy or find a way to get home, and I wasn't THAT easy. I made the excuse of not having my stuff to sleep over and proceeded to DRIVE HOME. Over 40 miles of winding, hilly country roads. The stupidest thing I have ever done in my life, by far. (Though, interestingly enough, the guy called up the girl who invited me to get my phone number so he could ask me out later, which I thought was sweet since I figured for sure it was just a hookup. It WAS just a hookup, it just lasted about two months - yup. I was a, um, easy woman. At least, that spring. The Spring of Love. I had just had a nasty breakup with my third monogamous long-term relationship - nasty enough that furniture was flung - and I decided enough with relationships, men were scum and I was done with them. Instead I got a dog. Then I just had fun for a while, because the sex with myself just wasn't as satisfying.)
You meet God in an elevator. What is the one question you would ask Him? Which direction is this elevator going? Actually, since I have this problem with verbosity, I'd ask him What is the meaning of Life and to tell my mother I said I love her and miss her and hope not to see her too soon.
So there you have it! Those were tough questions, T. Anyone else want to put out put themselves on the spot? Leave a comment to that effect and I'll email you with questions. Then just answer them and post them on your blog.
Well done!!
I'd have picked politician.
I've touched enough dead things in my life to last forever.
Posted by: Redneck Mommy | April 03, 2007 at 12:04 PM