We are all sick here, except Sunny, who of course is the biggest mess maker of the bunch. Seriously. Nemo is running a fever and is snotty; a trip to the pediatrician told us "It's a virus." Don'tcha almost hate that? So we are letting it run its course. Little Man and Trout are both a bit snotty, and BigDaddyFish and I have that achy fatigue thing going on, where all you want to do when that big truck hits you is lay down under it and just let it roll over because getting out of the way would require energy, which you don't have.
So! Here is the eulogy I gave at my grandfather's memorial service on Saturday, which went very well. I made it through my remarks without losing it completely, and my MIL told me that two little old ladies who had attended told her "I hope she [meaning me] is around when I go so she can do my memorial service." Don't know that I have a future in professional eulogizing, but that did make me feel like I did a good job - it's hard to do my grandfather justice because he's that big a guy.
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My grandfather was my favorite person on this earth, after my immediate family. He was honest, hard working, witty, tenacious (though some would call this stubborn), kind, and loving. He had an incredible strength of character, a man of integrity with a strong faith. His life was a perfect example of how to LIVE life to its fullest. No matter how far he travelled and what he did, though, he always, always put his family first. Although he was not a demonstrative man and was never one to come right out and say it, we knew he loved us – his actions told us so.
If he was in town, he never missed the things we were doing. He was there for ball games, both home and away. He was there for dance and music recitals. He was there for awards ceremonies. He was there whenever we needed him, for whatever reason. He was always there.
When I was little, whenever we would visit he would take my sister and me out to People's Drug stores, and would buy us either a piece of candy or a small toy. I'm not really sure if he had any reason to go to People's Drug besides just spending time with us, as I don't think I can count on one hand the times he bought something else. Once I grew up and became a parent, some of the things he said to me led me to believe that he was doing it to give my mother a bit of a break as much as anything else, but for my sister and me, it was a great time with Granddaddy.
He used to make waffles for breakfast, and though I know his secret ingredient, I've never been able to make them quite the same. He used to make popcorn the old fashioned way, on the stove, and he always topped it with the just the right amount of salt and cheese. I've never tasted popcorn that tasted like that, and I always thought I was using too much or too little or the wrong brand of something, but I was wrong. It was simply the love that he put into it that I missed.
When I was in college my family was in a bad financial position, and I studied all the time to make sure I had the grades to get the financial aid I needed to finish. Not only did he get irritated with me about that, as lack of money was never an excuse to not get an education in this family, since he would pay for it because he believed in it so much, but he took me aside one day and told me “Don't study so much. Don't forget to have fun. College learning isn't just in the books and classes.”
When I had my children, he was right there on the floor with them, doing airplane rides and elevator rides and rolling around on the floor playing with them, just as he did with me and my sister and cousins when we were babies and young kids. Until the cancer made so that he couldn't.
And he couldn't live like that. It was a violation of his nature. For me, the way he chose to die, to meet death on his own terms and meet the Lord on the Lord's own terms is as much an example of his strength of character as the way he lived.
For Christmas in 2002, I gave Granddaddy and Granny and my kids' grandparents a decorated composition notebook and a list of more than 100 questions about their lives. Granny answered about 10 of the questions and didn't do any more, and none of the other granparents did anything with theirs, that I'm aware, but in 2003 Granddaddy got snowed in at the Denver Airport for three days, and using his time wisely, he completed his book.
It is among my most prized possessions.
Right now, I'd like to read a couple of stories about his life, in his own words.
Here I read the story about Christmas and the peanuts, and then these two gems:
Write your testimony of life, marriage, and religious beliefs.
I think I have pretty much answered on the previous pages, but to expound and maybe preach a little bit pay particular attention to the following.
Just because you are you doesn't mean anybody owes you anything that you are not willing to work and prepare to earn. If gifts follow be grateful to the giver including the gifts of God which are the most precious.
Nothing is free except the elements. Everything must be paid for my someone or something. You by and large get out of life what you put into it.
Your genes are something you can't help so do the best with what nature gave you.
Each day is a treasure, make the best of it. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow can't be predicted.
About marriage. Marriage is something that has to be worked at constantly. The most problems of most marriages is complacency or/and feeling you own your partner. Some marriages just should not have happened. If you get into one of these and realize it try to get out before children are born.
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition it is more like 60/40 on the part of both partners. Each have to be willing to give just a bit extra.
As far as religious beliefs I think they are likely to change many times during ones lifetime. As a child, if you are raised in a religious home you have blind faith and completely believe anything you are told. As one gets older many people question everything and your belief wavers and weakens. If you are lucky when you get older you realize that you were right as a child.
I have a firm belief in God and the Trinity which separate Christians from the other faiths of the world, but don't discount these faiths entirely. Study them. Each of them have powers of meditation and relaxation that can make your Christian faith even stronger and in many ways improve your health.
Have a Wonderful Life.
Write something nice about your family and what they do to make you happy.
How can you say anything nice about such a bunch of rascals?
Seriously the most I can ask for is that they are there, managing to make a living, staying out of trouble and hopeful[ly] will always love me and my memories.
Indeed we do, and we will.
Great post, great stories. He was quite a guy. I wish there were some similarly tangible record of my dad.
I'm sick too. Ugh.
Posted by: Uncle Orca | May 04, 2007 at 01:50 PM