Wherein I Maim My Daughter, Thereby Securing My Lock on Worst Mother of the Year Award

This morning was the Christmas party at Sunny's preschool, and in a fit of sleep-deprived madness (par for the course around here) I volunteered to be one of the two parents who come in to "do" the party - make the sign-up sheet to coerce the other parents into contributing food, treats, plates, napkins, cups, juice, and goodies so that we don't have to actually DO anything except show up and do a craft for them help the kids do a craft and sing and eat and wash their hands and go home. I think I was thinking I'd get my volunteerism over with for the year (faulty logic because I'm already the Box Tops coordinator, but whatever) by doing the first party, but I don't remember doing the sign-up at all, anyway. Fortunately, the other mother who did the party is much more on the ball than I am, so she did the sign-up sheet and volunteered to do the craft, so all I had to do was show up.

And I guess, technically, I DID show up. I got a babysitter for Nemo and I took Sunny to school and we got as far as the parking lot. Where I promptly shut the sliding door of the minivan on her wrist.

Oh, the screaming, the tears, the horror. Sunny screamed and cried, too. I jerked the door back open almost immediately, snatched her up in my arms, and collapsed onto the floor of the van, crying and saying "I'm so sorry, where did I get you? I'm so sorry, Sunny, please, show me where I hurt you." I caught her on her wrist.

We dashed into the school so that I could tell them what happened, make arrangements for the party, and get her back out to the pediatrician. The school gave me an ice pack and told me not to worry about the party, and asked me to call to tell them how she was doing. I love our school.

I called the pediatrician, and the office staff told me in no uncertain terms that they had no openings for today and I had to go to the ER. This was the first time I'd ever had this happen in 8 years with these peds, who are some of the best in the DC metro area and whose staff are usually quite accomodating and pleasant. I will have to keep an eye on this, because even if the doctors are awesome, if the staff stinks then it's time to rethink the practice.

As we drove to the local emergency center, Sunny continued to cry and snuffle in her seat, and eventually she snuffled down enough for me to understand what she was saying: "Mommy, can you call and tew dem not to start the party wifout me?" My heart broke a little bit more as I told her that wasn't possible.

We sat outside the emergency center for a while and debated going in or not. It was packed, and I knew we would end up waiting forever, and her wrist, while a bit swollen, was looking better than it had at first look, and she was able to make a fist and use it to push up her other sleeve, so I figured it was going to be okay. I told her I'd take her back to school for the party, and she argued no. So I told her I could take her into the EC and she said no, she wanted to go home. So that's where we went.

On the way home, I asked Sunny why she didn't want to go back to the party, especially when she had wanted me to call them and make them wait. Finally, after much cajoling on my part, she said, "Because you might hurt me again, Mommy." And then I died.

I explained once again that it was an accident, that Mommy hadn't meant to hurt her, and she asked, "Do you pwomise you won't do it again, Mommy?"

Oh, honey, I pwomise.

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She's fine now, all the swelling is long gone, she's using the wrist like normal (i.e., taking toys and hitting her brothers), and there's barely a mark.

I wish my heart would heal that fast.

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There were two bright spots to the day:

1. Nemo was staggering walking around the kitchen today, and he took a pot lid from the open dishwasher, lurched across the kitchen, opened the cabinet, and very carefully placed the pot lid in the cabinet on top of some other pots and pans. Then he turned around and grinned like the Cheshire cat, pleased as can be that he was being helpful. I did not teach him this.
2. I have been getting notes home from Little Man's teacher about his mouthy, disrespectful behavior lately, and we've been perplexed as to how to handle it. As I was putting him in bed tonight, I told him, "Dream dreams of good behavior," to which he responded, "Actually, Mom, I dream of giiiiirls. I looooove girls." Good to know.

Comments

[crazyjane]

i did the same thing to my daughter when she was about 3, only it was her foot. and then i couldn't get the door open. and i was dropping my other 2 kids at school so all the other parents saw it happen. and nobody came to help me open the door. when we finally got to the doctors office they took x-rays just in case, but they said that the bones are still very squishy at that age, and for another year or so, so really they weren't worried. if it had been me, or even my oldest kid(10y/o) it would have been worse. and they said they see this fairly often. don't kill yourself with guilt. my daughter doesn't even remember it anymore and it was just 2 yrs ago.

[Agincourtdb]

BWAHAHAHA... "I dream of giiiiirls. I looooove girls." I guess that settles *that*. Unless... he could mean he wants to design sassy outfits for them.

Sunny's been really lovey to me lately. This after at least a year of, "ewwww! yowa kisses awe ICKY! I don't like your kisses anymowah!" I'll take what I can get. Let's hope it lasts a while.

[angi]

What a day! I am glad she is okay now, and you will be too. They have a way of laying on the guilt, don't they?

Yay for little Nemo, isn't fun to see them becoming little people? Love it :)

Loving giiiirls? Oh NO! Why does this have to happen? I want preschoolers FOREVER...

[hokgardner]

Isn't that the way it always is. The kids heal so quickly, but our hearts take much longer. Glad Sunny is ok.

And my son, who seems to be about Nemo's age, loves the dishwasher. Unfortunately, he loves to pull dirty dishes out again.

[Christine]

My heart broke a bit reading that! Poor girl, poor mama!

Dreaming of giiiiiiiiiirls? THAT is too funny! I love that he's so open with you! Good mama!