Once upon a time, there was a little girl with a bad case of Idontwannagotoschoolitis. Her mother was a Mean, Nasty Mother, and she made the little girl go to school anyway. The little girl thought she would try to make her mother think she was sick so she could stay home from school. Every day, she told her mother that her stomach hurt, or her head hurt, or her legs felt wobbly. Her mother would feel her head, look in her eyes, check her glands, and send her to school anyway. Her Mean Mother told her that if she wasn't running a fever, bleeding profusely, visibly throwing up on something, squirting poop out of her butt, or snotting thick green goo all over the place, she was going to school. It was tough.
One Monday, the little girl told her mother she felt sick, that her throat hurt. Her mother felt her head, felt her glands, checked for blood and goo, and not finding any, told the girl to drink some juice and go to school. The little girl did, but when she came home from school, she was quiet. Unusually quiet. And at bedtime she went right to bed instead of staying up for hours trying to read by nightlight.
The next morning, the little girl told her mother again that she had a sore throat. She had bags under her eyes and didn't look good. Her mother felt her glands and lo, they were quite swollen. So the mother took the little girl, and her baby brother and little sister, to the pediatrician. They had to wait almost an hour, causing the mother to exhaust her repertoire of kids' songs, and still the baby brother tore the exam room apart. The doctor felt the little girl's glands, looked down the little girl's throat, and said "Ew, no wonder your throat hurts. I bet it's strep."
The mother's blood ran cold. The Mean Nasty Mother happened to have tonsils the size of golf balls, and she lived in fear of the Strep. The doctor dutifully swabbed the little girl's throat and left the mother to come up with more songs to entertain her brood.
The doctor came back 5 minutes later with the bad news. It was Strep. She then checked the baby brother and the little sister, noting that they were clear, and then CHECKED THE MOTHER'S THROAT. Everyone was clean, at least for then. The doctor instructed the little girl to stay home from school the next day, causing the mother to freak right the heck out, because her sister is getting married on Saturday, and it's rather an inconvenient time both for Strep and for having kids home from school. Plus Thursday is a Jewish holiday, so there is no school on Thursday, the day that the little girl is officially authorized to return to school.
So the mother is now spending all her time swabbing down the entire house with bleach, trying to avoid the Plague strep. And the little girl now learned that a real good way to stay home from school is to stick every damn thing she finds in her mouth, even though she is certainly old enough to know better. Of course, since she gave it to all her classmates on Monday when she went to school contagious, she is sure to be able to track it down a few more times before Christmas.
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My friend hokgardner had her baby number 4 on Sunday evening, five weeks too early. Elizabeth is in the NICU, but is a little fighter and is doing better every day. If you could find it in you, hop on over and give hok some loving while she goes through this topsy-turvy time (say that ten times really fast).