Obviously, I've been neglectful of my poor blog here. It's not you all, you all are wonderful, but we've had some crises this fall that needed my time and attention and labor and anguish. Like some growing pain situations that I couldn't blog about. And an equally unbloggable bullying situation with my older son, where the school system has not been our friend, which is still decidedly unresolved. And learning to get by without as much babysitting time, both due to our Manny playing a long show and due to our own need to manage our finances better. And discovering personal finance blogs, and frugal living blogs, and Dave Ramsey, and finally getting on a budget and sticking to it and paying down our debt and living like the lower income people we really are instead of the middle income people in whose neighborhood we happen to live. BDF makes a good living, but there are 6 of us.
So my days tend to start with me rising 15 minutes before my kids, washing up and throwing on some workout clothes, getting them up, dressed, fed, lunches made, and off to school, then me eating breakfast while quickly checking email and dealing with the bills, then getting BigDaddyFish up and lunch made and out the door (and yes, he could, conceivably, make his own lunch, but he won't, so if I want to save the money and make sure he eats healthier, then I have to make it). Two days a week Nemo goes to preschool, which is an adventure unto itself because he is only just now starting to separate easily in the mornings. Then I have 3 precious, short hours to get everything I need to do without him around done, usually working out and showering and a shopping errand or two because gah, has grocery shopping with Nemo in tow become a nightmare. He won't ride in the cart, he pulls things off shelves, he runs away. On the days he doesn't go to school, we play. And do housework. And wreck the house. And go on outings so we don't wreck the house. Somehow in all of that I fit in a workout and some healthy eating for everyone involved. Or sometimes, I punt and order a pizza. I've gotten so much better about staying on top of the dishes and laundry and decluttering, but there are 4 of them and one of me and it's a losing battle sometimes. They get home from school and the evening is a whirlwind of homework and extracurriculars and dinner and reading and chores and a little bit of down time for them, not me, and then it's bedtime, a routine which usually takes 2 hours because I have to do it by myself. Then BDF comes home around 10*, we eat, and I fall asleep on the couch while he watches tv or plays a Wii game, then we stagger up to bed around midnight. At 6:30 the next day I get up and we do it all over again. Weekends are family time. To say I'm exhausted is an understatement.
A side effect of losing weight successfully and getting routines in place to manage that has been a desire to get my act together in all aspects of my life. We're budgeting now, and paying more attention to our finances. I meal plan, clip coupons, and grocery shop strategically. We're saying no to more things in favor of more time together, of working together on our own house. Since September it has been a whirlwind of nonstop birthdays and holidays, including three of the four kids, BDF, and Thanksgiving, with our 17th wedding anniversary thrown in for good measure, and now Christmas. All celebrations fall to me. None of the kids had parties this year, only our small breakfast birthday tradition. Gifts have come from thrift stores and sales. We're trying different things in our routines, different schedules, discarding things that don't work, implementing new strategies. It is a time of flux and change and necessary flexibility. We're kind of downsizing our life, simplifying, but it's hard work and time consuming. It's worth it, so far, but exhausting.
I've missed you all. I don't want to give up my blog. I still sometimes find myself writing blog posts in my head as events happen, but they disappear before I get a chance to sit and write them. It usually takes me a week or more to complete a post. I want to do better. I'm trying to steamline my blogging process and get that organized, too, and on a schedule, so hopefully I can keep up better. Have I mentioned I missed you?
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I took Trout shopping for concert dress for her holiday concert at school (and seriously, ES teachers, concert dress at that age? Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a plain black pair of pants or skirt for an 11 year old girl? Can't I just dress her nicely in her green holiday dress and be done with it?) last week, and we ended up at Kohl's. We found a lovely white sweater for a reasonable price (oh, and retailers? What the hell is with all the spaghetti straps on winter clothes for an 11 year old? seriously?) and a new hat and gloves, all marked down pretty well, but no pants or skirt that would fit.
When we got up to pay, the cashier asked if I had my percent off coupon and I told him I did, but it was only 15%, and he offered me the chance to do a scratch-off card to see if I could do any better. I didn't know you could do that, but I did it, and came up with 15% off again. Trout said "15 and 15, that's thirty percent!" and I told her she was right, but it didn't work that way, and went to the machine to scan my card. She took the bag and waited by the door because it was late and we needed to get home, and I signed the machine thingy and waited for my recipt. As the cashier handed it to me he said "She's right, you know, 15 and 15 ARE 30%" and tapped the screen. He had taken off 30%.
It's a sign of what my life has become lately that that was the highlight of my week. And yes, I did thank him profusely while he grinned like a cat.
Have I mentioned I miss you guys? What are your holiday plans, or if you already had your holiday, whatcha do? I can't really find my holiday spirit - got any to share?
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* Due to the nature of DC traffic and the fact that BDF's job is in the next state with the Potomac River as the border and only limited river crossings, this is how we need to work the commute for the foreseeable future. If he wants to be at work before 10, he has to get up and out the door by 5am to avoid being stuck in traffic for two hours, when his commute is actually 35 ish minutes without traffic. BDF is SOOOO not a morning person. It's ridiculous how not a morning person he is. We are very grateful that he works in an environment where he has the flexibility to go in late and stay late. We are considering moving down there, but there are a variety of reasons that isn't ideal, not the least of which his disabled parents live about 40 miles north of here. That's a whole post in itself. Remind me, I can probably get it on the schedule in March. Maybe.
The commute sounds miserable. I guess I'm glad my husband works from the house, even if he is one more person underfoot in our tiny house.
And like you, I feel like I just can't get caught up with all that life throws at me with four kids. Between school and limited extracurricular activities, I'm constantly running.
Hang in there. We're all in this together.
Posted by: hokgardner | December 21, 2010 at 04:19 PM