The Fish Pond

Pregnancy in the Moment

Who better to review a pregnancy book than someone who's been pregnant four times? Well, maybe someone who has been pregnant more than four times, but probably I have enough experience to offer something good here. When The Parent Bloggers asked for people to review a new pregnancy book called Body, Soul and Baby, by Tracy W. Gaudet, M.D. and Paula Spencer, I thought that maybe I have a large enough audience among the 10 or so of you who regularly come here who would be interested in this book, so I decided to give it a shot.

Body, Soul, and Baby is a meaty book, more than 500 pages, and it may be intimidating to some due to its sheer volume, but those who are persistent will find a gem of a pregnancy book, unlike any I've ever encountered. In addition to providing basic information about the medical aspects of pregnancy, development of your baby, and labor coping strategies, it teaches you how to care for all aspects of you - your body, your mind, your soul. It does this by encouraging you to be mindful of your pregnancy - all parts of it - to make decisions and live with purpose instead of letting your pregnancy just happen to you. It covers from pre-conception through a lengthy section on the postpartum period, not just a few pages but several chapters.

Of particular interest to me was both the treatment of c-sections and postpartum depression. I was thrilled to find that c-section was not treated as an afterthought, but rather had a lengthy section devoted just to it, the reasons one might be needed, what would happen, how to care for yourself afterward, and how to be at ease with getting one should you need it. I found some previous pregnancy books to be a bit dismissive of c-section or cover it in such a way that scared the crap out of me about how awful a c-section would be. As the veteran of four of them, one of which after 19 hours of labor, I can attest that while they carry more risk than a vaginal delivery, they aren't THAT bad, and I was happy to read a book that seemed to hold the same opinion.

Postpartum depression was extensively covered, including ways to decrease your risk of developing it, coping strategies if you do, how to recognize it, and ways that it may be treated. It was the most comprehensive coverage of postpartum depression that wasn't a book exclusively devoted to the topic that I'd ever seen. It also covered depression during pregnancy, something I most likely was suffering from during my pregnancy with Nemo, and something that I don't think I've seen even mentioned very often elsewhere.

I like this book, and I recommend it to anyone who is either pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant in the future. It is comprehensive without being frightening. The positive approaches teach you to nurture yourself as you prepare to nurture your baby - just what every new and prospective mom needs.

Circle of Life

We interrupt the reminiscing for a moment to bring things full circle:  Liz, Tammie, and Christina are having babies.  Soon, especially Tammie, for whom we are praying everything goes well and her little one arrives safely.

Having a baby brings out the best and worst in other people.  As the mom to four, I've heard all kinds of craziness:  A little bourbon on the gums helps ease teething pain (and you should put some on the baby, too), picking up the baby will spoil her, you can't breastfeed if you have small boobs, just open up the door and let them out like the dogs and tell them to be home for dinner, never mind that lake at the bottom of the hill.  Road trip?  Give them a bunch of benadryl before you leave so they will sleep the whole way.  Rest when the baby naps, never mind those other toddlers in the house, can't they take care of themselves?  And these were just from family members.

You'll get all kinds of assvice coming your way (as I'm sure you already have), but I'm only going to offer this one bit of advice:

Trust yourself.

Mom's instincts trump all.  Never mind what everyone thinks, says, or does with their kids, whether they have one or seventeen.  You'll know in your gut what makes the most sense for you, your baby, and your family.  Bottle, breast; co-sleep, crib; circumcise, or not; it doesn't matter what decision you make, you all already have the most important ingredient: love. 

And it truly does go by in a flash.  Last week I was bringing my brand new baby home, petrified that they left me alone with this person and I didn't have a clue what I was doing.  This week, that baby is a first grader, and her brother is getting ready to start kindergarten, and our second girl is wreaking the havoc that three year olds wreak, and a new baby is scooting along the floor, finding his way, and I still don't have a clue what I'm doing.

But I love them, and I'm doing alright.

May all three of you have quick labors, healthy babies, and the grace to love in the moment, even when the moment is a poop painting at naptime (a little nip of that bourbon helps at these times).

Check out the virtual baby shower for all kinds of fun.

What New Babies (and Parents) Need

A little while back Uncle Orca asked me to put together a list of things new babies need, for some friends of his who are expecting their first child sometime in the near future.  They wanted the voice of experience to help them.  Well, I am nothing if not experienced, and I have a tendency to run my mouth, so I was probably a good choice for this, but I am also frequently insecure, so this is the list I put together.  If you think I left something out, please let me know in the comments so I can update the list, in case someone else needs it.

MUST HAVES

1. Something to eat.  This can mean breastfeeding.  If it does, you'll need a few good nursing bras, nursing pads, and a pump, although what kind of pump varies greatly depending on your needs (a manual one for occasional use, or a dual electric model for if you need to be away from your baby for extended periods, such as a full time job).  You might want a few bottles, too, if you want or need to be away from your baby*.  I recommend a class before you have the baby if you want to breastfeed, and I recommend that BOTH PARENTS ATTEND.  You can learn more about my position on breastfeeding, and get some tips, here.  A nursing pillow is great, especially if you have a c-section - I prefer the My Brest Friend over the boppy, but I have 2 boppies currently in circulation, so obviously they are both good.  If bottle feeding, you'll need bottles and a few different kinds of nipples (babies definitely can have a preference), a bottle brush, and a good stock of formula.  You can get online at the formula companies and register to received formula samples and coupons.  Talk to your pediatrician about what brand he/she recommends - they will probably also have formula samples to hand out. 
2. Diapers.  You'll go through a butt-load of diapers before potty training (pun intended).  You'll need to experiment with the different brands to see which work best for your baby - all four of mine have needed different brands at different times based on their weight and shape of their butts.  Right now we are using Huggies Supreme, because the absorbent mesh they put into Pampers caused irritation in Nemo's nether bits, and the cheaper diapers (we tried 3 different store brands, plus the regular Huggies) left us with major blowouts/leaks.  I would buy only one package of newborn size, though - all four of my babies ended up going right to size 1s, and you don't know how big your baby is going to be.  Again, you can register online to get coupons sent to you in the mail.  Couple them with a sale a Target and it makes diapering a bit easier to take.  You'll also need some type of diaper cream or ointment - I have used Balmex, A&D, Boudreaux's Butt Paste, Desitin, Dr. Smith's Diaper Creme, and Triple Paste.  The triple paste is the best for the truly intractable rashes, but for everyday preventive measures, I like Balmex or A&D ointment.  I have never used cloth diapers - no service around here and I can't keep up with the laundry as it is - so I cannot speak to them other than to say they are unbelievably cute, they are supposed to be better for the environment and a ton cheaper, and they make potty training easier.
3. A place to sleep.  This can mean a ton of different things, but for us we used a bassinet for the first 3-6 months or so, then transitioned either to our bed or a crib.  I had no intention of doing a family bed here, but Trout got RSV when she was 3 months old, and we were so terrified she'd stop breathing we moved her into our bed so we could watch her.  BigDaddyFish wouldn't let her leave because he kept worrying about her, and ultimately it ended up being great because it was easier to nurse and face it, it's fun to cuddle with your kids.  But Little Man was too light a sleeper for that to work and NONE of us slept (he helicopters), so he moved into a crib when he outgrew the bassinet.  Some babies go right to crib from day one.  If you choose to co-sleep, MAKE SURE YOU LEARN HOW TO DO IT SAFELY, and if you use a crib, make sure it is either brand new or complies with current safety standards.  Land's End makes the best crib sheets I've ever seen, worth the slightly higher expense, and they last a long, long time (we are on our originals we've had since Trout was born, and they don't show any signs of wear).
4. Clothes to wear.  This is actually pretty easy to come by, because people get excited about you having a baby and they like to give you stuff, which is usually clothes.  Most people I know got enough size 0-3 and 3-6 clothes at their baby showers alone to outfit not just their child but the neighbors, as well.  You'll need about 10 onesies or tshirts, and about 7-10 sleepers, depending on how often you do laundry.  You'll need a couple of hats, either to keep the baby warm if it is cold out, or to keep the sun off the baby if it's warmer out, plus a couple of those little caps for when they first come home from the hospital.  ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT IS OPTIONAL.  Really.  Cute dresses and pant suits are just that, cute, as are those adorable little shoes, but none of that is necessary.  As we added kids to the family, each one spent more time in sleepers than the previous one, such that Nemo has only worn something other than a sleeper maybe twice, and that's only because all the sleepers were in the laundry.  It was a bit of a shock when the kids outgrew the shower/gift items and we needed to buy some clothes, so if it is an option you might want to ask for people to buy larger sizes, too.
5. Blankets and spit rags.  For some, these mean the same thing, though cloth diapers make excellent spit rags.  Depending on your laundry situation, you'll need up to 5 blankets (do you sense a theme here?), and I'd start with one package of cloth diapers for spit rags.  If you end up with a baby with reflux, you will need to triple the amount of spit rags, or do laundry more frequently.
6. Car Seat.  Baby will be rear-facing until at least one year AND 20 pounds, but should be rear facing for as long as possible.  We have a Graco Snugride for the infant seat, and Britax seats for everything else.  They no longer make the Snugride, but there is a replacement that is good.  Britax seats are worth every penny.  They are easy to install correctly and they fit so tightly when properly installed that They.Don't.Freakin'.Move.  They rock.  For more car seat tips, go here.  Look for an involved car seat post from me in the near future.
7. A support network.  Adjusting to a new baby is tiring and stressful.  Good stress, most of the time, but stressful nonetheless.  Help for mom and dad in the way of housework, meals, and babysitting time is essential.  As a new parent, don't be afraid to ask for what you need and insist on how you need it.  Parents don't need someone to hold the baby so Mom can do dishes; parents need someone to do the dishes so Mom can focus on bonding with her baby.  A good idea is to post a list of tasks that need to be done on the fridge, and when someone asks what they can do to help, point them to the list and let them pick.  And don't be afraid to kick people out who overstay their welcome - they'll understand that you are tired and need your rest and bonding time, and if they don't, they'll get over it.  (and if they don't?  Tell 'em to...nevermind)
8. A good pediatrician.  Interview these before the baby is born.  If you live in upper Montgomery County, Maryland, email me for the best pediatricians in the area.  Otherwise, ask around for recommendations (nurses on pediatric units in hospitals are a great place to find good doctors).  Some key things to look for:  separate waiting rooms for sick and well children, a similar philosophy on things like feeding preference and sleeping preference, affiliation with a local children's hospital, friendly and helpful staff, a bright and child-friendly office (just think back to what it's like to be a sick kid or a hurt kid and you'll know why this is important).  Our pediatricians (who I LOVE) had a new parent orientation for us to learn about their practice before any of our kids were born.  If your pediatrician doesn't offer this, you may have to schedule an appointment in order to learn more about them.
9. A thermometer.  A run-of-the-mill, digital thermometer is good - just make sure you don't mix rectal and non-rectal use.  :-)

NICE TO HAVES

All these things are good to have, but aren't essential.  Only the things above are things you absolutely can't do without.

1. A stroller.  Because that baby is going to get heavy, and you don't want to carry him/her around ALL the time, because sometimes you need your arms.  Plus it's nice to go on walks - most babies love being outside in the fresh air, and it makes shopping easier.
2. A baby-wearing device, either a sling or carrier.  I can't say enough about the Babyhawk Mei Tai, but I have used both slings and the Baby Bjorn.  All are good depending on your body type and comfort.
3. A bouncer seat.  It is fun and comfy for baby, lets you get a shower and still have baby in sight, and is lightweight and easy to carry around the house as needed.  If you are truly lazy like me, you'll have one on each floor of your house.
4. A portable play yard, i.e. a Pack and Play.  Mine has a bassinet and so is a convenient place for baby to sleep if you have a 4 level townhouse like me and want to keep baby with you when you are on a different level of the house as the bedrooms.  Later on, it is good for travel and as a safe play area/time out spot.
5. A playmat.  We have a Gymini Gym.  A good alternative to the bouncer seat and also allows for tummy time.
6. Some sort of diaper pail.  We had a Diaper Genie and thought it was a pain in the ass (just one more trash can that was more difficult to empty), and we didn't mind the smell, so we just used the regular trash and bagged as needed for the truly odiferous diapers.  Some people mind the smell and don't mind the hassle of the diaper pail, so this would be good for you.
7. A diaper bag.  This isn't necessary because you can just throw a diaper and some wipes in your purse if it's big enough.  Alternatively, you can use any old bag - backpacks are great.  Plus the hospital will give you a diaper bag when you leave, so you don't need to buy one yourself.  But if your child will be going to child care, it is nice to have a diaper bag with insulated pockets for bottles.
8. A stash of baby medicines.  You'll need these eventually, and it is a good idea to have them around before you need them, so you don't have to run out in the middle of the night when baby gets sick.  You only need infant acetaminophen and possibly Mylicon (gas medicine) initially.  Ibuprofen isn't used until over 6 months of age, and cold medicines are usually not recommended under 2 years old, mostly because they don't work worth a shit.  Saline nose drops are good, too, because if your baby gets a stuffy nose it helps to use the drops and suction his nose out with the booger sucker (aka bulb syringe, provided by the hospital when you leave).
9. Baby nail trimmers.  These are good - I actually prefer them, but some people don't.  It is just as easy to use an emery board or file and just file them down (best done while baby is sleeping).
10. Baby-cute ice packs and bandaids.  Your child is GOING to get hurt sometime.  It's good to have some kid-friendly ice packs (boo-boo bunnies or flexible gel packs) and some cute band aids around - it really does make a difference to the kids.  I also like to keep a bag of frozen peas around for this purpose - makes a great ice pack.  Just remember to mark them so you don't eat those peas.
11. Bibs.  But you won't need them til later.
12. A high chair or a booster seat.  Ditto above.  But!  Do a little research first, and really think about your space constraints.  We have a high chair, and use it sometimes, but frankly we use a booster seat that straps to one of our kitchen chairs much more often and for longer.
13. An exersaucer.  Good for playing variety.
14. A baby bathtub.  I have one that folds up and fits into the sink, but I tend to use it in the bathtub so I have more space to work and there is more to catch the splash mess.  If you have a kitchen sink that is large enough, though, that works great.  The best is to get into the grownup tub with your baby, but this works best when there is another adult around to help you both get in and out of the tub.
15. Baby proofing paraphenalia.  You won't need this til later.  Plug covers, gates, and cabinet locks are pretty much essential, but we've mostly used the approach of Put It Away Til Baby Is Old Enough Not To Eat It or Break It.
16. Toys of choice.  Keep in mind that baby will outgrow things relatively quick and will make a toy out of just about anything you give him/her - pots and pans, cups, bowls, spoons, blankets, cardboard boxes, tennis balls, cell phones (watch the drooling here) - you get the idea.  Just make sure it is safe.
17. Books.  I almost put this under Must Haves, because I feel so strongly about it.  Read to your child.  It will make your kid smarter and it's a great way to bond.  Start with board books and move up to paper pages once baby is no longer eating them.

CRAP THAT PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED BUT YOU DONT - THESE ARE MOSTLY A WASTE OF MONEY

1. Dreft or other baby-specific detergent.  Even if you use separate detergent on baby's clothes, your baby will still come into contact with whatever you wash you own laundry in, unless you are never ever forever going to hold your baby.  Since we know how likely that is, if you are concerned about your baby's skin reacting, use a Free detergent, like Tide Free or All Free and Clear, for all the laundry.  Honestly, this isn't even an issue unless your baby breaks out, so my advice is to wait and see.
2. Special towels for the baby.  A grown-up towel is more absorbent, covers more and keeps the baby warmer, and is easier for the adult to use.
3. Ear thermometers.  From what I've been told from every doctor I've ever talked to, these are notoriously inaccurate.  They don't even use them in the hospital.  Stick with the cheapy $10 digital.
4. Buntings and coats for little babies.  Since you can't safely use a coat in the car seat, and there are very few situations where your baby is going to be out when it is cold that don't involve their car seat, you will do much better using a good, warm fleece blanket over your baby AFTER they are buckled in.  There are also car seat covers (they look like big shower caps) that will go over the seat, but I found these to make the baby too hot.  We just warmed up the car and used blankets.
5. Walkers.  These are dangerous and don't help baby learn to walk any faster.  I can't understand why they are still on the market when they've been shown to be a huge cause of baby injuries, but whatever.  Your money is better spent on an exersaucer.

I've probably forgotten something here, but this is a great start.  I hope this helps some of you who are about to be new parents.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Above all, trust your instincts - you know more than you think you do.  Your love is what baby needs most, and the rest will fall into place as you get to know each other.

*The need for a pump does not mean that you necessarily will be feeding your baby the milk that you pumped.  The first time I needed a pump was because I had mastitis and needed to make sure I was emptying my breasts.  You may also need to take medication for a short time that isn't good for your baby, so then you'll need to Pump and Dump to maintain your milk supply.

Sunny Says

Last night I was getting ready for bed, and in the process I change from a "regular" day bra to a much softer, comfortable "night" bra.  I must do this because the trusses required to support the girls during the day are much too restrictive for night, but the girls are much to heavy to go without support (plus I'd wake up in a pond of breastmilk, but that's another story).

"Momma, Those are BIG!!"  I look around behind me. "What are, Sunny girl?"

"THOSE, Momma!"  She points at me.  "They're REALLY BIG!"  I finally realize she means my chest.

"Yes, they are, girly.  That's how come your brother is so big, too."

"Momma, my bear is big, so I feed him, too."  She then proceeds to "nurse" her teddy bear.

--------------------------

Other random quotes:

"My stomach is getting lots and lots of full."

"Mommy, this thing here has a lot of hurts in it," pointing to her belly button.

"Mommy!  Mommy!  I did the poop in the little potty!!"  This, twice today.  Maybe the next couple of days will go as well as hers.

This is SOO TMI, But I Need Help

Okay, so Nemo is 2 weeks 3 days old.  This was my fourth c-section, and I had a tubal this time.  The doctor had to do a bit of renovation in there, like putting an ovary back where it belongs and putting my abdominal muscles back in the front of my abdomen rather than being split and off to the sides.  I have been in a lot of pain and things have been feeling different than my previous 3 sections.  Here's the TMI part (guys or those with queasy stomachs, read no further).

I bled the normal course for the first two weeks - bright red, then watery red, then darker red, and then I stopped bleeding for the last 3 days, just some yellowish/brownish discharge.  The normal course of things - this I went through with the other 3.  However, tonight I felt like I was starting a period and sure enough, I am bleeding again, darker red blood, about the amount of a moderate period.  I also have pain, kinda like stinging.  I am concerned because I have never had bleeding start again after stopping.  I wonder about infection, but I don't have a fever or anything, and I'm not overly fatigued for the amount of sleep I have been getting (or not, as the case may be).

Is this due to the tubal?  Reconstruction?  Infection?  Is this because of Advanced Maternal Age (ahem)?  Anyone ever experience this?  This is worrying me, and I don't want to call the doctor at night on a Saturday because they'll just send me to the hospital, but I don't want to ignore it if it is something serious.  Any experienced moms have any ideas?

I Must Have Broken a Record for How Quickly My Own Stupidity Kicked In

First things first, E.W.J.(Guppy) was born Wednesday, Nov. 8 at 9:47 am, in a scheduled c-section surgery.  He was 7 lbs. 10 oz., my smallest baby, and he is 20 inches long.  He has a full head of fuzzy black hair, and looks just like his daddy.  He and I both did fine with the surgery.  I will post his birth story in a couple of days, when I get a chance to type it out.

We came home on Saturday, with BigDaddyFish, all three big siblings, and my FIL in attendance.  That, too, is its own story.

But first, I must confess to something:  It took me being home only slightly more than 24 hours for me to drop my newborn son ON. HIS. HEAD.

Yup.  The kid wasn't a week old before his first ER trip.  The doctor did a bunch of extra work inside after the c-section to put my insides back where they belong, and it has left me drained and unbelievably sore.  Despite that, due to other health issues, I can't take anything stronger than Tylenol for pain, so I have been verging on delirium.  Also, Guppy nurses constantly, and I hadn't had more than about 2 hours of sleep since coming home.  Monday morning at about 5 am, I woke with a start as I felt my son slide out of my arms, and he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor of my bedroom.  I LEAPED out of bed and had him picked up in about a nanosecond (keep in mind I can't really walk up the stairs by myself) and was screaming my head off and crying.  He only made a token protest and then went back to sleep.  BigDaddyFish jumped up immediately, too (think about his sleep issues here) and we checked Guppy out together.  Now, in the few days I've gotten to know my son, I've learned that he hates being uncovered or undressed, but not much else bugs him.  So, after a "What the hell just happened?" squawk, he realized he wasn't uncovered, so he went back to sleep.  I wanted him to be screaming his head off so I knew he was okay, but he wasn't, so we got all the other kids up and trooped off to the ER.  He had a CT scan, and a thorough neurological exam, and was pronounced perfect.  I got to hear about all the times all the mothers there dropped their kids on their heads (it seems this is fairly common), and I was ordered to sleep while they took care of the baby.  In response to "Chief Complaint" on their admit form, I wrote "Mother is a Moron."

He is fine.  He was later checked again by the pediatrician, and not only deemed perfect, he had already gained back more than half of what he lost from his birth weight.  We got lucky: the bed is high off the ground (he fell more than 3 feet), but the floor is carpeted with 1" padding underneath.  He could have hit his head on either my bedside table or the stool I have to use right now to get in and out of bed, but he landed squarely in the SIX INCHES in between the two.  The good Lord was looking out for us then, that's for sure.

And now, the phobia about the edge of the bed that I haven't had since I convinced myself as a teenager that gremlins were NOT coming out from under the bed to eat my toes while I sleep is back with a vengeance.

This mother of four stuff is hard.

This is Why I Didn't Do NaBloPoMo

The baby's fluid is low again.  I will have him in the morning, via c-section.  I am a nervous wreck.

In a Dark Place

Right now I'm in a pretty dark place, and I'm not sure why.  Oh, I know my hormones are part of it, but really, I've never been this bad when pregnant before.  Last night I only got about 4 hours of sleep; I wasn't able to go to sleep until about 2:30 am.  Instead I stayed up reading and watching tv and crying.  The really sucky thing is that I wanted to enjoy this last pregnancy, and I can't.  I just can't.  And I hate that.  And I keep contracting and nothing is happening.  And some asshole did a google search on "naked 7 year old girls" and got to my blog, and while I know that sick motherfuckers like that exist, I hate when my world collides with them, even tangentially.  At least he got nowhere here.

Just having a spot of trouble seeing the beauty in my world right now, so I'll just shut up for a while.

Since I've Never Actually Gone Into Labor Before...

anyone care to tell me exactly how many damn nights of evenly spaced contractions that are bearable that disappear once I go to sleep (but not when just layiing down) I have to go through before I actually, I dunno, have a baby or something?  This didn't happen with the other three.  It's getting to be quite the pain in the ass.  Literally.

Oh, yeah, and a word to the wise:  If you are an assistant leader for a Brownie troup of 12 first graders and you go beyond 38 weeks pregnant?  Stop going to meetings.  Just stop.  You aren't all that useful, and your hormones won't let you tolerate their first-graderness with patience.  It will just be a miserable experience for you.  Stay home and rest or eat or something.

And since we're miserable, I should tell you that I found out today officially that my grandfather's cancer has spread.   I had suspected it for a while, but his doctor isn't forthcoming with information and my dear 82 year old grandfather is much too proud to allow any of us in the younger generations come along to his doctor appointments with him so that we can press the doctor about it.  He gets insulted about it.  His cancer is very difficult to treat, and frankly, if the prognosis is not good, we aren't too sure how long he is willing to fight since losing my grandmother this past January.  However, my aunt will be visiting in a week or so from out west, and he will have no choice but to allow her to come along to his appointments, so we're hoping she can get some better information about what we can expect.

My grandfather is one of my most favorite people ever.  I'll try to post later this month about why.

And on a totally different but boring note, my beloved glasses of 3 plus years have begun to chip on the frames, on the bridge of the nose.  It bugs my nose.  This makes me sad because these are the best glasses I have ever had - the right combo of comfort and durability, and I don't look like a dork in them.  I went today to get new ones, and discovered we have vision insurance!  YAY!  So, I ordered new glasses today - they usually do them in an hour, but their "machine is broken" and they have to send them out, so I will get new glasses on Monday.  And prescription sunglasses.  And I get them both for less than half what I paid for the pair that are currently bugging my nose.

That is, if I don't, I dunno, have a baby before then.  Or something.

37 Weeks and Counting

Today I had my old-fart test, otherwise known as a biophysical profile, and the baby looks fine, but my fluid level is slightly low.  It's only slightly down at this point, so we don't know if it is just an anomaly or if maybe I have sprung a pinhole leak.  We'll be keeping an eye on it, but it is worrisome, and I would be lying if I told you it didn't bother me.  It does.  While I feel like crap and want him out, I only want him out if he is ready to come out.  I don't want another NICU baby.  That said, if having a NICU baby is necessary, at least this time we won't be blindsided - we know the doctors, we know the routine, we know what to expect.  It will still suck.

The doctor also did an internal - I am Fort Knox.  Closed up tight and hard as a rock.  So no sign the baby is coming on his own anytime soon.

So today I went and bought wee little diapers and slightly bigger wee little diapers and a "nest" for the baby to sleep in.  We try to co-sleep in this house as long as it works for everyone involved; it didn't for Little Man, but the girls both co-slept for....a very long time.  As in, they still come to visit frequently.  That said everyone was in a cradle or bassinet for the first few months when they were teeny tiny (well, as much as 8 lb. babies can be considered tiny) and unable to move around much.  So we are hoping that this nest, as I call it, will work for us well - it is a box, basically, that fits in the bed between mom and dad and it has rigid sides so the baby has his own space and mom and dad won't roll over on the baby.  Which for us is crazy anyway, because in all the years of sleeping with our kids we've never rolled over on anyone, but ... you know.  Rather safe than sorry and all that.

Regarding my last post, Trout lost one ballet slipper.  I found it today, in plain sight on the floor next to one of our bathrooms.  Between that and the tights and the fact that her book fair at school was this week and I got her a bunch of books, she owes me big.  Think it's too much to hope that it'll buy me a few days of getting ready for school in the morning without strife?  Yeah, probably.

And I fully intend to neglect to tell my MIL about my fluid levels if she calls.  I already told BigDaddyFish to call her so I don't have to deal with her, and I am screening my calls as much as I can (somehow can't convince the kids to NOT answer the phone).

Sigh.